When I wake up each morning, grief is the new normal.
Each day I wake up and realize that Abi is gone. And that is when I realize that my world has shattered.
It is overcast today. When I went out to check on the plants this morning I noticed that the lovely white blooms on the tree are turning brown.
My thought was: Like me, it is mourning and has faded early.
Yesterday morning a package came to my door.
I opened it to find a wooden box of soothing little gifts from my ad company, Adthrive. And I was so surprised and felt grateful.
I don’t know how they knew about my loss, as they have so many bloggers in their network.
Their card explained that they’d been following Abi’s illness. I was so touched.
Someone asked if Abi and Charlie are litter mates. No, they were not.
When My Fur Babies Came Into My Life:
Abi came into my life in August 2006 and Charlie in September 2006.
My next door neighbors, who are moving out of state in a few month, have been so good to me. Bringing me food, calling to check in on me.
I so appreciate their kindness. They are “pet people” like me. When they move I will miss them.
One of you emailed me the name of a book that was helpful in your own time of grief. I am ordering it.
I will of course plant something in Abi’s memory later on. I’m far from that point when I could handle doing that yet.
I am trying not to upset Charlie any more than is necessary. And my sobbing frightens him.
Charlie Is Sad:
In his own way my Charlie boy lets me know that he is sad and wants to make me feel better.
He is sleeping beside me on the left side, his side, (Abi’s side was the right side) with his pink tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. His nearness calms me.
I’ve tried to get him to sleep next to me at night, but he is ingrained in his ways.
I pick him up and lay him down next to me, but he immediately moves back down to the foot of the bed. His presence is soothing no matter where he chooses to be.
I found myself humming as I was doing something in the kitchen. When I realized what I was doing, I stopped and just stood there.
I was a bit shocked at myself and felt ashamed.
I’ll hum little ditties, parts of songs, music from a TV commercial.
But how could I be humming when Abi is gone? I asked myself.
How could I be doing something so ordinary when this is not an ordinary time?
I have received so many emails from those of you who are grieving your own losses. Those of you who share memories of grieving
Hopefully we can help one another during this sorrowful stage of life.
“Those who do not weep, do not see.”
― Victor Hugo,