Hurrying Through Life Isn’t The Answer
Why have I always thought that hurrying through life was so important? I really can’t say for sure.
Most of the time I don’t even know what I am hurrying toward, like a rat on a treadmill.
I have always walked fast (well, back when I could anyway. It’s distant now in the rearview mirror.)
Let me tell you much it bothered me this past year watching others hurry while I had to go along at a snail’s pace!
I’ve always eaten fast and showered fast. Move, move, move. Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Fast was my middle name.
After pondering about it a bit, I realized that it probably all began when my children were young. There were so many functions and dates to remember.
When My Children Were Young:
We mothers hurried when our children were young to get them to school on time. Get them to ball games before they were late. Get the car pool on track. And on and on.
So many places I needed to get them to because the clock ticked and tocked. And we didn’t have cell phones to put dates into.
Imagine telling a young mother today that she must write events on the calendar and remember to look at it every day! She’d look at you like you had two heads.
Many women have simply adapted to that way of life.
We forgot to stop hurrying when our children were grown and perfectly capable of getting themselves places on their own.
My children are adults now. More than grown. They’re both in their mid to late forties, for heavens sake.
But I never stopped hurrying.
I just got in the habit long ago and it’s hard to figure out how to stop.
Many of us move so fast we’re not even enjoying life all that much. Speeding right past those special moments we need to slow down to enjoy.
This post is written as part of the process of trying to slow myself down. To stop hurrying when there’s nothing to hurry for.
Of feeling like I must get a post written and published before a certain time and to do it every single day.
Enjoying Life:
I admire people who can just enjoy each moment as it comes.
And I don’t mean becoming part of the “live with intention, be mindful, prioritize your core values” trend. I don’t really like trends because they cycle in and out.
But we all know that the clock stops at some point. Death is inevitable. We don’t like to think about it.
But we can’t hurry past something that is finite. Inescapable. It’s not something we can at all control.
“The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Just look at Ivy. Ivy never hurries unless it’s to the food bowl when she hears me put food in it.
Or if there is a creature she sees outside that she doesn’t think belongs there. How dare they be in her yard!
Ivy just sleeps and eats and takes her time.
And so I asked myself: Why do I keep doing it?
Well, habit I guess. It became part of my routine.
One habit, as I’m sure you’ve noticed today, is not to spend hours upon hours putting together New & Notable Mentions. It isn’t read that much, so it turned out to be kind of a wasted effort really.
But my routine needed an overhaul. What’s the point of doing anything in life if we find ourselves dashing around when we don’t have to?
My own fault really. The sequence of each week became a chore.
Taking On Things We’re Not Sure About Taking Up:
It takes a leap of faith to begin many long term practices in life. Things that take on a life of their own. Like this blog.
I’ve started so many things only to leave them in a corner at some point.
Somehow I’ve been able to keep at it with this blog. It’s a miracle really. One I’m conscious of all the time.
“If you obey all the rules, you’ll miss all the fun.” – Katharine Hepburn
But the thing is, I told myself recently, I don’t need to check in with you every single day. In fact I realized that it may get tiresome to hear from me every day!
What on earth do I have to say that is earth shattering? Nothing really. I might write about a reflection on life.
Maybe I have a bit of decorating to share. Or a new bloom in the garden.
Sometimes I only want to say: “Look what just bloomed in my garden!”
But no one is pointing a gun at my head.
Hence, I’ve slacked off a bit to see what it feels like. I’m not going anywhere, just giving myself a little “every other day” break.
Because there’s nothing for me to write about life if I don’t spend more time living it.
“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln
Just Sharing My Thoughts:
So today I’m sharing those thoughts with you. And showing you new blooms in my garden.
Look what just bloomed in my garden!
I’ll probably see you tomorrow. Or if not tomorrow, then for sure on Monday.
I can’t imagine not reaching out to my friends at least every other day. It would feel so peculiar when we’ve been friends, many of you, for over 14 years!
I don’t want you to feel that you have to read everything I write, or comment on posts even. In fact, don’t comment if that’s something you don’t truly wish to do.
I know you’re there. You know I’m here.
And I’m not going anywhere. So I hope you aren’t either.
“The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.” – James Taylor
You know, I’ve never much cared for the taste of alcohol.
But if I did, I’d raise my glass to all of you and say: “Let’s enjoy life and stop hurrying.”
I can certainly relate to this post. Long retired, it took me many years to slow down. My husband is the complete opposite, so watching him calms me and slows me down. I still have tendencies though….if I need to get a task done it needs to get done now! I’m not always successful as I need to be careful with my back, so that in itself has made me slow down. Reading helps me slow down, working in my flower garden does as well even if its only 15 minutes or so. Great post Brenda.
I too think it may be the storm…my sister in law lives in Jenks which is not far from Brenda. They had 100 mile an hour winds…she said her plants and stuff on the patio were a mess. Alot of people had no electricity…hope all is well Brenda…💕
See Brenda we’re already missing you. I know you don’t intend to post everyday but there’s something special about your “everyday” thoughts, everyday.
Today is June 20th and I’m becoming quite worried about Brenda. It’s not like her to not post at least every other day. I suspect that she has been affected by the severe weather in Oklahoma, perhaps lost her power. Praying for your safety Brenda.
Brenda,
I think you should do whatever you like. Slow down or hurry up. Share every day or don’t share at all. Write new and notable, which I love because it is similar to my Friday favorites and it is fun to see what other people love or that I may have missed or simply share a photo of Ivy. We love it all. After 14 years it is like reading a morning note from family.
Take care of yourself, that is the most important thing.
xoElizabeth
Hi Brenda….like another reader, I am sorry I never commented on how lovely your New and Notable Mentions post was…it was my favorite day…I really love this type of round-up. It’s like a post full of nuggets of gold! So your efforts were appreciated!
Like many of you and many of your readers, I also worked myself to the bone for over forty years…I worked until the age of 70 in order to maximize the amount of social security I would get. That extra money was worth the extra years and I was fortunate to be able to work that long. BUT…now that I’m retired, I make no apologies for the lack of goals or plans and I have found out that it’s a real blessing to have an open schedule because I can be there for people more, read and do the peaceful things I enjoy. An open schedule will suit you too…find that balance where your income won’t suffer too much and you can have time off. Bless you…you are a friend to many!
I would visit your blog every day just to see a picture of Ivy 😻
I learned a long time ago in 12-Step Recovery that if I can’t do something *with serenity*, it’s important not do it at all, or to wait and do it later. I don’t always follow that, but when I do, it gives me peace.
Also want to say that I will miss “New and Notable Mentions.”
I’m certain, however, that it’s tremendously time-consuming, as you’ve said…plus, I used to say, “It’s a free country, so please do whatever you. choose.
But now, I say, “It’s still *mostly* a free country; now we have Communism and Socialism coming in.”
Here in our Congressional district, our Representative grew up in Communism…and makes it clear that we *don’t
begin to understand* what we’re letting into our country!
Perfect post.
Does anyone else seem to think hurrying is generally a trait we see in people from the US more than other places? In my reading it seems many other cultures take things a bit slower than the US. So, I guess what I’m asking is, what does it say about our society when so much value is placed on getting things done quickly?
Most of us with children and a husband have hardly had enough time to sleep enough even…during those years. And now that I am on call 24/7 as a caregiver to my husband, though thankfully he is doing better, still…I often need to remind him that I also have needs!!! Imagine that!! Rest being one of the big things I need.
Life is too short! I will be 76 next week and I have finally realized that I have earned the right to do as I please. Brenda, it is time for you to do as you please! However you want to do your blog, every other day, once a week we will all be with you looking forward to reading your blog.
Brenda I love your posts and I never tire of your topics. I have followed you a long time. But if you need a time off we all understand. I get panicky when I don’t get your post. Lol
I love your garden and decorating tips. You do have such an interesting flair for writing.
Hugs
Claudine
Brenda – I forgot to say how beautiful the photo of the red-winged blackbird is. One of my favorite birds as they truly are the harbingers of spring where I live. The males come back around Valentine’s Day and the ladies about a month later.
I almost hate to admit it but I’m the queen of taking it slowly, never get bored, hardly ever get rattled. It’s like there’s something missing in me! My mom used words like dreamer, aloof, and loner to describe me, but somehow I managed getting to work on time every day for 32 years and to have a successful career. I worked for AT&T for 32 years, loved every job I ever had and was happy to do each one until they offered me something better, never needed to claw my way to the top, just needed enough. I never even got in a hurry to get to work just to have a cup of coffee before starting. My boss asked me one day how I always made it with seconds to spare and I told her “sometimes I runs and sometimes I walks”. All I ever wanted to do when I retired was enjoy my home and travel a little and that’s exactly what I do. I’m up by 6 every morning and each day just rolls along, usually with no plan. I never have to do anything “today” unless I’m out of food for the animals. I’m pretty much like a big chunk of putty, but I like knowing that my friends (more of them than I deserve) know they can always count on me because I have no routine, no rules, no plans, and I’m always available. I truly always have and still do fly by the seat of my pants. And while I was doing nothing on the front porch this morning I saw a road runner in my yard. You know what he did when he left the yard? He ran down the road! Never had I seen one around here and I’m glad I didn’t miss it.
I’m glad you didn’t miss that magical moment too! I’ve never seen one. I admire your “slowness.” You make it look effortless. When I have to stop and TRY to slow down!
I love this Teri, thanks for sharing. I aspire to me more like you. Three kids and working fulltime doesn’t allow me just yet but I’m trying to take things slower. It’s certainly better for my stress and anxiety levels (which has manifested in gastritis).The slower I am the better I feel. Take care.
I enjoyed new nd noteable Mentions. Sorry if I never told you.
I may bring them back. But it just didn’t seem like that many people liked Saturdays when I did that. So we’ll see.
I think I have slowed down but I still keep to quite a rigid routine. I get up at the same time every day, have breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time, go to bed at the same time!! It sounds very boring but I just can’t break it.
Also we have a mid afternoon cup of tea at the same time every day unless we are out. My sister is just the opposite she gets up late, she has meal times at anytime and goes to bed at different times. When I think of that I prefer my way of doing things.
Routine is good. I think routine “grounds” us. That doesn’t mean we have to rush our routine though. The routine just means we’ve done things enough times that we don’t have to stop and think about it. We can remember something from long ago and enjoy the memory while going about our regular routine.
When I was working full time, I had to rush because the work was ever-demanding. It’s easier to do that when you’re younger and you have tons of energy. When you have a home and a life outside of work then you rush to try and get things done in the evenings and on the weekends because your life is otherwise taken up by 40 hours a week work plus travel time. Egad – it’s a miracle that ANY of us actually survive that, when I think of it now. My last 12 years of working, I was specifically hired to cater and “take care” of a rude, obnoxious insecure little boy in the body of a man who was a big hot shot at the law firm I worked for. I left that position but was begged to come back after a year because he had gone through four assistants in the meantime, none of whom could handle him. I decided to go back to that position. Stress, especially what feels like never-ending stress, kills.My health suffered as a result, and I retired early, at 63. Best thing I ever did. I quickly got over the rushing. For the first year I was retired, I did little other than watch programs on the internet all day and ordered things to be done in my new backyard (a new fence, a gazebo installed), while I leached the stress out of my pores slowly but surely. I was not a mom, I can’t speak to that, but I can tell you that it is possible to slow down, learn how to breathe again, and truly begin to enjoy moving through your day at your own speed, or no speed at all.
Your job was your child. You spent your time there and now you’re retired and glad to be doing what you’re doing. I should have spoken to those who work full time. Because it is just as rushed and stressful.
Beautiful post, Brenda! Thanks so much for the very needed reminder ~
bobbie
I have to kick myself in the butt all the time to do it, to stop rushing. Maybe one day it will be my habit.
I have a friend from high school who even moves slowly and is the most genuine well spoken person I know. I love talking with her and she puts me in a much calmer slower mood. I have the greatest admiration for her as I do you , Brenda, for recognizing we Welcome hearing from you whenever you wish to share a tidbit with us.
I love being around people like that. Because I’m not one of them and wish I was. I talk fast too. I’ve got to learn to slow that down as well.
I enjoyed this post so much, Brenda! It’s very thought provoking and true. We spend our lives rushing through everything – big sigh! I seldom rush anymore.
I believe this is why I’ve embraced, in a BIG way, my hand stitching. It forces me to slow down and enjoy the actual process. I like to say; it’s a journey not a race!
As I said, I thoroughly enjoyed this post so much.
Have a wonderful Saturday.
Oh, I hated to give that up! I find myself trying to get through a stop light. Hurrying to get in line at a drive thru. Like there’s someone timing me. It’s ridiculous.
I am with you – we should take time to stop and smell the roses as we are only visitors here on earth for a short time. They say it’s also good to sometimes just do – nothing – which is hard for many of us to do (me included). Doing nothing can energize your brain and expand your creativity.
Many bloggers send a weekly newsletter these days. Some post several times a week and, in my experience, few post daily unless they have a large team or a big project unfolding etc. I think posting every other day is a great idea – so you can take time to stop and smell the roses – or to just do absolutely nothing! Ivy is such a pretty girl:-)Have a good weekend!
I love the idea of a weekly newsletter, but it doesn’t bring in revenue. A person has to actually be on my blog for me to make money. I hate how that sounds, but it is what it is.
That is totally understandable and you are deserving of the revenue. Whatever you decide for yourself: 7 days, every other day… is the best solution and your readers will be there – no matter how many (or few) days!
“Nothing to write about, if I don’t start living it” How true your words are,
you know Brenda, you are so right!!! I also hurry each day. Hurry to get up at 7:00. Hurry to make the bed, hurry to set the table and get breakfast going. Hurry to clean up the table and wash the dishes.
Then hurry to take a shower, get dressed, put makeup on, and style (comb and curl) my hair . I’m not going anywhere… usually.
So Why??? I don’t know, we sure are alike in that respect. Good Grief, now that I think of it, You are right, it’s time to stop and smell the roses. Time to enjoy it all. Live each day to the fullest, and slow down.
Thank you so much for this post. Whenever you write, whatever you choose to write about, just a little, or a lot, I’ll enjoy reading. Garden flowers and pets, always entertain us. Sending hugs from Wiscnsin, have a nice weekend!
I catch myself doing it and have to make myself pause a moment and ask myself where on earth I’m hurrying to? I do the same thing you do!
As I read Brenda’s post I am thinking the same thing. It’s only myself and my husband now and he takes care of his own stuff most of the time so why do I hurry through my daily routine. There isn’t any schedule so what’s the rush. Like Brenda said I think it’s left over from the years when the boys were young and there was so much to do that I got in the habit of getting through the daily mundane stuff as quickly as possible. And now I’m still doing it. It’s time I rethink my priorities and take more time to just be.
Brenda, sometimes I think we’re twins. I so get this post and applaud your very honest and intelligent ideas about slowing down, easing away from self-imposed “shoulds.” I too have always hurried through things, but now have realized how unnecessary and even unhealthy it is.
And have to mention how beautiful Ivy looks – her fur looks so soft.
Enjoy the slower and more reflective life, you and Ivy.
I want to smack myself for doing this and I’m 66 years old. I have to actually stop myself and breathe for a minute.