Under Dark Of Night

It is late afternoon here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The day has been a dreary, rainy blur. For some reason I was sick all night. As was Charlie. 

We all ended up on the couch, crammed together, trying to get some sleep, just after midnight. 

Abi cried because she does not like change. Charlie’s tummy was upset too, and he was a bit listless. The pets were not quite themselves.

The windows were dark with night. 

My eyes felt grainy, as though a stiff Oklahoma wind blew even more dust across the prairie. 

There is something disconcerting about being awake in the early morning hours. 

It is the time of day when I imagine that people succumb to illness. When death darkens their door. And they are released from their pain before light brings a new day. 

It is when crimes are committed, under dark of night. Because those that perpetrate such acts hope that the darkness will hide their misdeeds.

It is when every sound is accentuated.  

Usually when I wake up at night, I start thinking of tasks that need to be done. And the cycle of sleeplessness grows worse because I can’t stop thinking in detail.

But last night, all I could think was: Please let this be over. And thoughts of today were of no consequence. 

Finally, sleep released me from the stomach cramps and back pain. 

The pups were snoring beside me. 

It began to get light out. The objects around me began to be take on a familiar shape.

Today I am slow. My usually energetic self is moving along like a snail. If only I could sleep in daytime, I might feel more rested. But that is an escape I never seem to find.

The day has been filled with rain and the sun has not come out at all. As though it needed a sick day as well. 

Finally, close to noon, after a shower and fresh pajamas, I allowed myself one cup of coffee. And was ever so pleased that it didn’t make me feel worse. I needed that jolt of caffeine to drag myself through the day. 

I have spent the past hours doing laundry, since that takes no real thought. 

I have eaten chicken noodle soup and asked myself why I never seem to have Saltines in the cupboard when I need them. 

The day is winding down. Dusk will fall like a blanket on the patio soon. And I hope sleep falls on me like a ton of bricks. I hope for dreamless sleep and oblivion. 

I hope to wake up tomorrow feeling like my usual energetic self.  

Just now, as the clock inches toward 5 p.m., I see a shaft of sun on the roof behind me. It has made its presence known after all, though late in the day.

I am starting to feel hungry. A good sign, I tell myself.

Things tend to look better in the daylight.


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  1. Brenda:
    I feel your pain! I have insomnia almost every day. I am thankful I don't have to work outside the home. I usually end up falling asleep around 4 in the morning! My husband is sleeping so I try to keep things quite in the house until he gets up. Needless to say, I am behind in so many things and my two little pups don't know if it is night or day!!

  2. I feel so bad that you were sick. I have bouts of insomnia, so your words felt familiar to me. I truly hope this finds you and sweet Charlie feeling much better. Sleep well tonight, dear Brenda…

  3. Hi Brenda, hope you have a better night tonight. Not sure what it was last night, but we did not sleep well here either. Not really sick, just couldn't sleep. Feel better soon and little Charlie too. Celeste

  4. I am so sorry to hear you have been unwell and had to work your way through the night. When this happens to me it takes a couple of nights before I am back to some normalit. It disconcerts me and I start to imagine things happening outside. I wish you well Brenda xx

  5. Brenda, this so resonated with me. Here in Illinois a stomach virus has been rampant…I spent the night on a chair in the bathroom (enough said). It is easy then to give in to morbid thoughts…I felt so sick I was ready to meet my Maker (lol). Yep, with the dawn comes a new perspective, and yes, my coffee I am sipping now is a blessing! Maybe we go through these times to truly appreciate the goodness that follows. Happy you are better!

  6. I'm glad you and Charlie are feeling better. Being awake like that when you'd rather be asleep can be pretty dismal.

  7. Sleep well tonight my friend…and snuggle up with your sweet pups…I feel very tired tonight as I had to travel to Hershey Pa to have blood work done at the hospital there were I had my Open Heart Surgery..May you all feel much better tomorrow!

  8. I hope you are indeed long asleep by the time I'm writing this comment and that your sleep will be restorative. And I wish I could write so beautifully as you have after a night of lost sleep!

  9. I hate insomnia. I had it last night too. But I did manage to fall asleep. I'm so sorry you had a rough night and a lousy day. We all go through that sometimes. It's best to just remember that tomorrow is another day and hopefully a better one! I hope that tomorrow brings you relief and tonight brings you much needed sleep.

  10. Absolutely about your writing and Braggs, have a bottle in my pantry. I had the stomach flu last night and it's rainy and cold here in Arizona. Like you, I hope to sleep soundly tonight too. Kathleen in Az

  11. Feel better, Brenda! I'm sorry you're sick and don't mean to make light of it, but you are such a terrific writer. It's in moments like this, you should be putting all of your thoughts into a book. You paint such pictures with your words.
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia 😉

  12. Bless your heart. Hope you feel better. Oklahoma is good at giving us dreary days. Have you tried probiotic for you and your dogs? They work great. Maybe get some Bragg's Organic Apple Cider Vinegar too.

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