Yesterday I was outside with Charlie and there was all this commotion in the air above me. It was dragonflies. I’d never seen so many at one time. One was piggy backing on another. (Mating behavior?)
I patiently waited with camera in hand for one to land. But it never happened They flew about ten feet in one direction and turned around and went about the same distance in the other. In a loop. Over and over again.
It seems there’s strange behavior going on right now with nature in general. No birds. None.
Hawks sitting on my fence. Dragonflies of all varieties on my patio. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a single dragonfly since I moved to Tulsa in 2011 before last week.
When they do land, they always tend to land on one of the vines. They must be attracted to the flowering vines.
The squirrels are snatching up my morning glory leaves and nibbling them down to nothing.
I didn’t know squirrels ate morning glory leaves. It must have been mighty tasty because this squirrel ate one after another as I watched.
This morning I got a not so great photo of one of the dragonflies. As soon as Charlie and I went outside, I saw it flying overhead.
Did any of you happen to watch the first two episodes of season two of “The Sinner?” I watched a couple of episodes last year then forgot to watch the rest. I would still like to watch all of last season.
Bill Pullman is terrific in his role as detective. He is cautious in his words and seemingly touched by a tragedy from his own past.
Jessica Biel is not acting in the series this season. She is the executive producer. The season only has 10 episodes, so the plot moves fairly quickly.
Bill Pullman is called into this case by a friend from another police department. A young boy traveling with a couple inexplicably poisons them while staying at a hotel. This leads them to the boy’s mother, who seems to be the head of a local cult.
I’m now reading “What Happened That Night” by Sandra Block, a practicing neurologist in Buffalo, NY.
Synopsis via Goodreads:
One moment Dahlia is a successful Harvard student. The next, she wakes up from a party, the victim of a brutal assault. Her life veers into a tailspin, and what’s worse, her memory of the attack has been ripped away, leaving a cold rage in its wake.
Now, years later, Dahlia is a tattooed paralegal suffering from PTSD, still haunted by that night. Until one day, a video surfaces online, and Dahlia sees her attack for the first time. Now she knows what happened to her. And she knows who to blame. Her rage is no longer cold, but burning, red hot.
And she is about to make everyone pay.
I found it odd that within the first 20 or so pages that the protagonist had “lost time” after a tragic event. I too have lost time in my past. The actual reason for this is called dissociation.
Then another man enters the plot. And he has Asperger’s Syndrome. As you know I have Asperger’s Syndrome.
It was really hitting close to home.
For those of you who don’t know anything about dissociation, from Psychology Today: Dissociation is a mechanism that allows the mind to separate or compartmentalize certain memories or thoughts from normal consciousness. These split-off mental contents are not erased.
You become “disconnected” from wherever you are. It is a defense mechanism of the brain protecting you.
I remember once I was in a restaurant. Some sensory trigger in the room must have set off a reaction, because suddenly this dreamlike disconnected feeling swept over me.
The voices around me began to fade into the distance. Complete calm descended, as though I was watching where I was from afar.
A trigger can be a sight, sound, smell or touch. But you have no idea what memory is associated with the trigger. And you don’t know what the trigger was; whether it was a sight or sound or smell. It is something the brain keeps you from remembering.
It began happening in my early teens, or at least that’s when I first recall it happening. It hasn’t happened to me in quite awhile.
Only once do I recall actually losing hours of time, which was about a decade ago. I was alone driving home after a trip. I “lost” two hours and had no idea where I was. I had to stop at a store and ask what town I was in. I had never been there before.
A very strange and scary feeling because you have no idea what happened to those hours.
Today is the third month anniversary since I lost my Abi Rose. I miss you sweet girl. Mama will always, always miss you.
And now, as always happens when I look up a photo of you, the crying commences. You were one of the brightest lights of my life.