Swimming Against The Current
Christmas is now behind us. It’s in the rear view mirror until next year.
It was really just another day of the week for me. As I’ve aged, I find that I’ve adopted the ways of my granny. She didn’t like to celebrate holidays.
I understand it more as a senior myself. Maybe especially as a woman living alone.
A Life Of Service To Others:
My granny’s mother died when she was a child. She had to help raise her step brothers and sisters. Then she married and had 8 children of her own.
My grandmother, her second daughter, never really grew up mentally, so she was responsible for her until the day she died.
And she raised my mother too really, for my grandmother didn’t really have what it took to raise a child properly. Then when my mother abandoned me, she took me on as well.
I imagine she was very tired by then. She never had the time to figure out what she wanted. Who she wanted to be. She was too busy raising children.
Our Individual Need For Solitude:
“We need solitude, because when we’re alone, we’re free from obligations, we don’t need to put on a show, and we can hear our own thoughts.” ― Tamim Ansary
And I find that quite sad. Because I relish my alone time. And she never had that.
I wish so much that she’d had that time for herself. That gift. Time to just be.
So holidays were likely the least of her concerns. Think of how tired you’d be after raising and caring for all those children.
Making My Own Choices:
I guess, after raising my own and doing all the holiday stuff, I don’t really want to do it all now either. There was a time when I made all kinds of candy and cookies for Christmas. I made homemade ornaments for the Christmas tree.
And I hope my children feel that they had nice holidays. They have their own children now and have their own way of doing things. Make their own traditions.
“I let it go. It’s like swimming against the current. It exhausts you. After a while, whoever you are, you just have to let go, and the river brings you home.” – Joanne Harris
Taking Charge Of Your Life:
If you don’t take your time and make it your own, no one else is going to do it for you. You will just continue to rise to other’s expectations without taking your own desires into consideration.
With Christmas especially, it seems sad that people go into debt basically to buy all the presents they think is required of them. But then they have to pay it all off.
In stores, when I used to go into stores anyway, Christmas decor is often put up in the middle of the summer. And that just depresses me. I consider that jumping ahead in time.
And if there’s one thing I firmly believe in, it’s that we need to live in the here and now. Relish the moments, so to speak.
“Take charge of your life! The tides do not command the ship. The sailor does.”― Ogwo David Emenike
Savor The Moments:
That’s really all we have. The moments. So just enjoy today and make the most of it.
You don’t have to flow with the tide. You should do with your time what you truly want to.
Don’t be a prisoner to everyone else’s expectations. You will one day regret it.