Abi’s In Kidney Failure
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The vet just called, and the blood work shows that Abi’s in kidney failure. They want to give her more fluids, and I’m to pick her up about the same time, late this afternoon.
Acute renal failure can occur in a very short time frame. And that’s how it has been this past week. One minute, she seemed fine, and the next, she appeared lethargic and refused to eat.
I recall sitting on the steps at the vet’s office early Saturday morning and waiting for him to get out of his truck when he arrived. Even though we had no appointment, I knew he had to look at Abi. I knew there was something wrong that was beyond my ability to care for her.
It seemed to take so long for him to get close enough for him to hear me as I stood there by the door. I told him how worried I was about Abi.
He told me to bring her inside, and he’d take a look at her. And things went downhill from there.
Thinking Back On Abi’s Escapades:
I think of Abi’s escapades—memories stored in my head. Abi, furiously scratching at a blanket because she’d get so excited. Her little paws were moving so fast that you could barely see them.
Abi, making that weird noise when she lies on her side and is trying to convey her frenzied feelings to me.
The way her eyes always widen when she sees me walking toward the door with my purse. How she tries to keep me from going out the door to my car. Then, when she sees she can’t stop me, she tries furiously to sneak past my legs to go with me, barking furiously.
Both Abi and Charlie have separation anxiety, and I hate to leave them for any period of time. But there are places I have to go where I can’t take them, so they get left behind until I can get home.
Abi, a spunky little dog, is so full of life. She’s undoubtedly a drama queen and has weird, quirky ways. There has never been anything ordinary about Abigail Rose.
And now she’s listless. Sick, weary, and scared because she has to go to the vet every morning. And I have to leave here there till late afternoon.
She knows something is wrong. I can see it in her eyes. But I can also see how tired she is from trying to keep her body going when it wants to quit.
There’s Nothing More To Do:
There’s nothing else to be done. She won’t drink or eat. There has been no improvement after several days of fluids and treatment. No matter how strongly I’ve wished it, made bargains, and pleaded with the vet, this process remains unchanged.
How can I lose this feisty, sweet girl?
It seems impossible because she’s always been so full of life. But in the past few days, I’ve watched her fade away. Her eyes have an empty look.
I’m heartbroken. However long she has left, I want her home with me. I want to spend every minute with her. To soak up her presence.
I’m selfish to want to keep her when I know her body can’t fight anymore. I’ve never seen Abi not fight. Fight to go with me, fight to get out the door, fight me every step of the way.
Abi has always seemed larger than life. She’s always been such a spirited little dog.
I brought Abi and Charlie with me from Texas, and I remember stopping for gas once during the long drive.
As I pumped gas, both dogs stood at the window watching, fear in their eyes. They had no idea where we were going, or if we’d ever return to the only home they’d ever known. We were moving to a new home in a different state. Many changes were about to take place.
Settling In Tulsa:
Then we settled in Tulsa, and life went on. We no longer had to worry about “him” anymore. Those days were over. And now the three of us had our own little family.
Now one of us will no longer be here. And Charlie and I will be left to grieve this spunky, sweet little dog.
I’m bringing her home to die. I’d go pick her up right now, but he said she needs the fluids. I have been waiting and hoping. Hoping and waiting. Thinking maybe things would turn around and she would get better.
In these crucial next hours, I will talk to her, pet her, and give her all of myself. I’ll try to prepare her for something I have no idea how to prepare her for.
My own feelings of anxiety and fear will have to be put aside. And I’ll just be with her. Lie next to her; talk to her.
Tomorrow, she will leave this earth, and hopefully, there is a Rainbow Bridge for her to cross over to.
I will love her to the end and beyond, and be right beside her when she takes her final breath.
Oh Brenda I’m so very sorry to hear this news about Abi. I hope you are able to get some quality time with her. Please keep an eye out for Charlie as he’s going to need you down the road too. I’ll be thinking of you over the next few days. Carol
My heart is breaking for you,Brenda. I’m so very sorry. You, Abi and Charlie are in my prayers.
Brenda, I’m so sorry to hear about Abi. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Dear Brenda, I’ve been reading your blog for years and have somewhat of an understanding into how much your value your doggies. I value my little doggie too. I am so earnestly sorry Abi is failing. You will be able to have some time with her. Heartfelt sympathy, Vicki
I am so sorry. Know that you have given her the very best life she could have had. The only thing wrong with our pets is that they leave us too soon.
I had to put down my dog Maci in October. She was 14+ and my best friend. Keep Abi comfortable and take all the time you need. I’m so very sorry.
I’m so sorry, Brenda. Sending thoughts and prayers to you, Abi and Charlie.
I’m so very sorry! You are in my thoughts and prayers!
I’m so sorry Brenda. Sending love to all.
Oh my, Brenda – my heart is breaking for you and sweet Abi. Leaving hugs of comfort!
I know the heartbreak of losing a beloved pet. So sorry Brenda. Abi is so lucky to have you in that you will take care of her every need. Sending loving thoughts. I feel for Charlie too, I am sure he is wondering what is happening.
Please know that you have many friends who understand how hard this is. Bless you and Abi.
My heart is breaking for you Brenda. Sending hugs.
Brenda,
I’m so very sorry. May you and Abi find comfort in knowing how much you loved each other. You’re in my thoughts.
Pam
Brenda, so sorry, so so very sorry. I even cry while I write this little note. My thoughts are with you, and I pray for a peace full passing.
Brenda, I am so very sorry about your dear little Abi. Your heartache is being shared by all your friends. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.
I am beyond sorry. Prayers and love!!
Heartbreaking…. you are right …she should be home with her Mommy as soon as she can….. I am so very sorry ….
Oh my, so very sorry to hear abut Abi…please know your readers are thinking of you and Charlie.
I am so, so sorry to see this. My hugd abd prayers are sent with love.
So very sorry Brenda.
I am so, so sorry, Brenda. There are no other words.
xoxo
Brenda, so sorry to read the sad update. Difficult days. As you are doing, I too would want to spend every possible moment with her. Annette
So sad to read this,Brenda.Take comfort in the wonderful,loving life you’ve given her…
Brenda I am so sorry to hear the news about sweet Abi! I know what you are going through, it is so sad and hard to lose a loved pet. I just lost my cat of 22years. Our fur babies are true and loyal friends. Thoughts and prayers are with you!, Linda
Brenda, I am so very sorry. I know you are heartbroken. You are such a loving and attentive mom to your babies. They have a wonderful life with you. Take all the time you need with Abi. My thoughts are with you as you go through this time.
Oh Brenda,
I know words do not help. I have been in your place of pain before.
I have been and will continue to pray for you.
I am so sorry.
Blessings to you
Minnie
I am so very loss for your pain Brenda. Prayers for Abi…
Brenda I am so terribly sorry, how awful for both you and Abi. I woke this morning at 5 AM and you were the first thing I thought of, you and Abi. I’m so sorry my friend, I wish there was something the vet could do. Hold that baby close and let her feel your love. xoxoxoxo
I’m so heartbroken for you Brenda. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Abi, and Charlie. Just love on her for the previous time she has left.
I am so very sorry.
So sorry to hear about Abi. We went through the same thing with our beloved Wheaton Terrior, Snickers in January. We also brought her home to die …. was difficult to watch but we wanted her with us, just like you want Abi with you. So heartbroken to hear this news…. my syncerest sympathy.
I am so very sorry. I went through this in January with my sweet baby girl, Sally, who was fourteen. There are no words for this kind of loss. One thing my vet said is that “the last thing she’ll remember is you petting her”. Didn’t ease the pain but did give me a little comfort.
I’m so sorry. I have followed your blog along for years. Therefore I know how much she means to you. Please know others care and you are in my prayers
I’m so very sorry. I lost my beloved 15 year old dog to heart failure in February. In the end when no more treatment was possible I chose to have the vet euthanize her humanely as I could not bear to let her suffer needlessly when she had no quality of life left. I held her and spoke to her as she left this world peacefully. It was the last gift I could give her. It brings me comfort to know that she had a wonderful life and she knew to the end that she was much loved. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your precious Abi.