Today I woke up feeling like I’d just gone to bed. Many nights are like that because Charlie wakes me up often wanting to go outside. Most nights it’s because Charlie wakes up coughing and wants to go outside to fresh air where he feels better.
Even after I drink my cup of coffee I still feel like I have one foot in this world and one foot in some vague ether world.
Lately he’s been obsessed with something over by the alley adjoining the fence that separates me from my neighbor. In that particular corner something calls to Charlie.
I know because his tail is twitching like a metronome. And that always means he sees something that excites him.
Friend or foe, I have no idea what this is. The weeds on the other side of the fence are thick and high.
The guy living behind me lets weeds grow tall and push through my fence where I have to deal with them. He is not exactly a pleasant sort of fellow and we try our best to ignore one another.
I curse him under my breath as I am forced to pull his tall weedy mess through the slats of the fence before it completely encroaches upon my garden.
So whatever this is is on the other side of the fence in those weeds he won’t bother to pull.
Charlie wants out there to whatever he knows is there. In the past it has been a possum. But they’re always up high on the fence. This is down low. Whatever it is does not make a sound.
We will come inside, usually only if I pick him up and carry him, and pretty soon he’s barking at me insistently to go out again. I end up time after time having to hunt him down in the shadows and then carry him back in.
Finding words this morning is much like straining alphabet soup through a colander while swiping at cobwebs in my brain.
Such is the life of a pet mom. Comes with the territory. Whether sleep has evaded me once again, I am here in the light of a new day, putting one foot in front of the other.
If only I was a daytime napper. But I’m not and no amount of trying brings sleep as long as it’s light outside.
All I can do is hope that tonight brings a long and dreamless sleep that gives me the rest my body craves. But I kind of doubt that’s going to happen, given the many nights preceding it.
And when there’s really nothing left to say, I often rely on: It is what it is.
“I’ve always envied people who sleep easily. Their brains must be cleaner, the floorboards of the skull well swept, all the little monsters closed up in a steamer trunk at the foot of the bed.”
― David Benioff, City of Thieves