Abi’s In Kidney Failure
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The vet just called, and the blood work shows that Abi’s in kidney failure. They want to give her more fluids, and I’m to pick her up about the same time, late this afternoon.
Acute renal failure can occur in a very short time frame. And that’s how it has been this past week. One minute, she seemed fine, and the next, she appeared lethargic and refused to eat.
I recall sitting on the steps at the vet’s office early Saturday morning and waiting for him to get out of his truck when he arrived. Even though we had no appointment, I knew he had to look at Abi. I knew there was something wrong that was beyond my ability to care for her.
It seemed to take so long for him to get close enough for him to hear me as I stood there by the door. I told him how worried I was about Abi.
He told me to bring her inside, and he’d take a look at her. And things went downhill from there.
Thinking Back On Abi’s Escapades:
I think of Abi’s escapades—memories stored in my head. Abi, furiously scratching at a blanket because she’d get so excited. Her little paws were moving so fast that you could barely see them.
Abi, making that weird noise when she lies on her side and is trying to convey her frenzied feelings to me.
The way her eyes always widen when she sees me walking toward the door with my purse. How she tries to keep me from going out the door to my car. Then, when she sees she can’t stop me, she tries furiously to sneak past my legs to go with me, barking furiously.
Both Abi and Charlie have separation anxiety, and I hate to leave them for any period of time. But there are places I have to go where I can’t take them, so they get left behind until I can get home.
Abi, a spunky little dog, is so full of life. She’s undoubtedly a drama queen and has weird, quirky ways. There has never been anything ordinary about Abigail Rose.
And now she’s listless. Sick, weary, and scared because she has to go to the vet every morning. And I have to leave here there till late afternoon.
She knows something is wrong. I can see it in her eyes. But I can also see how tired she is from trying to keep her body going when it wants to quit.
There’s Nothing More To Do:
There’s nothing else to be done. She won’t drink or eat. There has been no improvement after several days of fluids and treatment. No matter how strongly I’ve wished it, made bargains, and pleaded with the vet, this process remains unchanged.
How can I lose this feisty, sweet girl?
It seems impossible because she’s always been so full of life. But in the past few days, I’ve watched her fade away. Her eyes have an empty look.
I’m heartbroken. However long she has left, I want her home with me. I want to spend every minute with her. To soak up her presence.
I’m selfish to want to keep her when I know her body can’t fight anymore. I’ve never seen Abi not fight. Fight to go with me, fight to get out the door, fight me every step of the way.
Abi has always seemed larger than life. She’s always been such a spirited little dog.
I brought Abi and Charlie with me from Texas, and I remember stopping for gas once during the long drive.
As I pumped gas, both dogs stood at the window watching, fear in their eyes. They had no idea where we were going, or if we’d ever return to the only home they’d ever known. We were moving to a new home in a different state. Many changes were about to take place.
Settling In Tulsa:
Then we settled in Tulsa, and life went on. We no longer had to worry about “him” anymore. Those days were over. And now the three of us had our own little family.
Now one of us will no longer be here. And Charlie and I will be left to grieve this spunky, sweet little dog.
I’m bringing her home to die. I’d go pick her up right now, but he said she needs the fluids. I have been waiting and hoping. Hoping and waiting. Thinking maybe things would turn around and she would get better.
In these crucial next hours, I will talk to her, pet her, and give her all of myself. I’ll try to prepare her for something I have no idea how to prepare her for.
My own feelings of anxiety and fear will have to be put aside. And I’ll just be with her. Lie next to her; talk to her.
Tomorrow, she will leave this earth, and hopefully, there is a Rainbow Bridge for her to cross over to.
I will love her to the end and beyond, and be right beside her when she takes her final breath.
So very sad! I wish there were some magic words I could say that would make it better. Thoughts and prayers for you.
I am so sorry. I want you to know how my heart breaks for you, Abi, and Charlie. It is the worst kind of feeling. Please know that I am thinking of all of you at this time. She is such a little beauty.
Linda
So very sorry to read the news about Abi. She has given you so much love and companionship. the price for Love is one day saying good bye and that breaks one’s heart.
You and Charlie take care of each other.
I am so so sorry Brenda, she is so beautiful. Our time on earth is so precious, our furry babies are angels from above. Prayers are being said for you to be strong and comforted, for Abbi to be home with her family and pain free. My tears are because you shared your story of love and the bond this precious baby has made with all of us.
I am sorry terrible sorry sending prayers and hugs
There are no words. I am so, so sorry. Praying for comfort and love for you all three.
My love and prayers, Brenda. May it be a peaceful, loving passing. I know the pain of losing “fur family members”.
UGH Brenda I am so so very sorry…that poor baby….praying for your family in this time. XOXOX
So sad and sorry, hold on, know that many friends are keeping you and Abi in their thoughts and prayers. Take whatever time you need, everyone understands. Our beloved animal friends give us such joy, and then, too too soon, a corresponding sorrow. Abi has been dearly loved, cared for, and this is her legacy.
Mary
Those of us who follow your blog and have pets are aching for you. I think pets are as close as any of us get to unconditional love. Humans try to give unconditional love but dogs and cats seem to be able to pull it off. Your blog followers are with you in spirit.
Better to have had Abi and experience the pain you are in than to have missed the love!
I am so very sorry. I know your heart is breaking. Love and hugs to you and your fur babies.
Wbrenda, so many hearts are breaking for you and sweet Abi!
Know you’re in our thoughts!
What a wonderful life you have given Abi.
I am so sorry.
Diana in illinois
My tears are for all three of you. I am thinking of you as you move through the difficult stage of letting your baby go.
So sorry about sweet little Abi, my heart is breaking for you all. Hugs for you all.
I am so sorry. She is so lucky to have you.
It’s impossible for me to keep the tears from falling whenever I think of you, dear Brenda. You have my deepest sympathy during these heartbreaking days. It frustrates me that there is nothing I can do or say that can ease your pain. Just know you and Abi have all the love in my heart. Thinking of you…
Gayle xo
Brenda, I’m sending my love and prayers for your peace and comfort, and for Abi and Charlie too. This same thing happened with one of my sweet kitties right before I started blogging. I grieved for months because they are our little “babies” and they bring us so much joy. I haven’t been leaving comments or blogging much because of my health problems, but I’ve been checking up on Abi’s health situation. I’m so very sorry. You said it so well, when we open ourselves up to love, we know there will be heartache at some point. She’s been a very blessed little girl to have a dear, loving “mama” like you. Being with you right now is a sure comfort for her. love, Deb
Oh no, Brenda. So very very sorry. My heart breaks for you and Charlie.
Oh Brenda, no! I’m so sorry to hear this diagnosis for your sweet little dog. It breaks my heart for you as I know how much you care about each other. I lost my sweet dog in 1991, and it still hurts because I wasn’t with her at the last minutes to help her cross. If you can be with her, that’s all that matters now. Peace be with you as you make the tough decisions for your special one’s comfort.
My sincere sympathy, Brenda. My heart breaks for you.
tears are streaming as i write this. there is nothing to say that will help.
oh that tiny precious bundle of light! she will feel your love and Charlie’s love.
and you know that we all love you three dearest heart. let that strengthen you.
I am so very sorry. There are truly no words. I heart goes out to you and Abi.
I’m so very sorry, cousin. It’s so tough to lose our furry family members. That’s what they are, family members. Know that you’ve done everything you can for Abi. Just keep her close and love on her for as long as you have her. Hugs and prayers!
Brenda ~ you have given Abi a lifetime of love and comfort, just as she has given you the same.
I know you will gently help her cross over the Rainbow Bridge when her time comes.
Cyber hugs flying your way ~
Sending love and saying prayers. Wishing you and Abi peace.
Heartbroken for you. Hold her close and remember the joy as you face this difficult loss.
I am so very sorry. As you go through the difficult hours and days ahead, please know that many hearts are with you.
So sorry to read this. Prayers for all three of you.
Bless you for the life and love you have given and continue to give your beloved dogs and bless them for the life & love they have given you.
That’s sooooooooo sad!!!!! Praying for comfort for all 3 of you!!!