Introverted Woman in an Extroverted World
This post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase through links on my site, I may earn a commission at no cost to you. For more information, please see my disclosure policy.
I’m an introverted woman living in an extroverted world.
If anyone should wonder about the occupant of the blue house with the green door, I am that person. I live quietly, keep the yard maintained, and keep to myself for the most part.
I am the woman, often in a house dress, who goes outside and doesn’t step off the porch for days. You might see me outside watering the plants or feeding the outdoor kitties, and probably possums and raccoons that come out to eat at night.
I am definitely not the woman who puts on makeup just to retrieve the mail. I’m not a woman who wants a man to look my way.
I’m just an introverted woman living in an extroverted world.
Sometimes, when I’m scrolling Instagram, I see this perfectly coiffed woman living in a Pottery Barn-decorated house. And sometimes there’s a dog with a bow or bandana tied around its neck.
People don’t really live like that, do they?
Can you imagine setting up that house, teasing your hair to perfection, and polishing everything till it shines? And then chasing the dog to tie a bow or a bandana around its neck? You know, for that Insta-worthy shot?
What I Yearn to See
Sometimes I yearn to scroll Instagram and see a woman whose hair has lost its shine, has gray streaks, and whose skin has lost its glow.
The reality is that aging isn’t for the faint of heart. But putting on lipstick doesn’t make time recede or turn back the clock.
My ex-husband used to say: “Men age like fine leather. Women just age.”
How sad that anyone could be so cynical and say something so trivial. With a smirk, he let me know which category he thought I fell into.
I can still hear his voice and remember the way he used to look at me. As the years passed, his eyes went from desire to disregard. The newness lost its luster, and the sight of me no longer sparked interest.
Why do men want a woman when she’s as shiny as a new penny, but turn away when it’s been stepped on a time or two?
There was a time when I yearned to be that new penny and have a man look my way. Now I just want to be invisible because I really don’t give a damn what they think anymore.
Time does take its toll. Wrinkles come to greet you when you look in the mirror. Your hair develops gray that will eventually take over.
You & Your House
When you’re divorced, widowed, or just had the good sense not to marry, it’s just you and your house full of keepsakes and other treasures.
I need my little blue house with the green door. To sit on the porch, listen to the birds, and hope nothing comes along to disturb my peaceful moments.
I love watching my cats look out the window, waiting for a bird to come into view so they can tremble with excitement. It takes so little to entertain them. When they’re not being entertained, they’re sleeping. And they’re not a bit apologetic about doing either.
I’m the person who walks slowly around the garden looking for a tiny bloom to show itself. I water my plants, deadhead the flowers, and feel gratified that nature is abundant and that it colors the world around me.
I’m that woman who gets teary-eyed when I see a video of animals being adopted and led from the shelter. They are so thankful to be loved. We can learn a lot from watching animals.
That Introverted Woman
I am that introverted woman who can go days without seeing or talking to anyone, and I’m totally fine with that. In fact, I prefer it. Those are the best days, when I don’t have to go anywhere or deal with another person. Just me and the cats.
They say laughter is the best medicine, but I think a perfectly quiet house could possibly rival that statement.
I prefer staying home and drinking my coffee alone instead of meeting someone at the coffee shop. And eating salad and a sandwich instead of going out to a restaurant.
My needs are quite simple. Food, a roof over my head, books to read, and my kitties close by.
I don’t spend time looking in the mirror and wondering where the time has gone. Because I was there for the ride, the answer is obvious.
I’d rather pull the curtains back and stare at the stars on a black, inky night, and feel grateful for the life I have now.
While I have been lost in my thoughts unspooling, it has grown dim outside. And still.
The trees out there are hushed, waiting for their leaves to begin falling. Thankfully, the steamy heat has given way to a cool whisper when you open the door.
The plants, so pretty earlier in the season, look tired, and some of their leaves are brown and crispy. My water hose, new at the start of the season, has sprouted many leaks and is about ready to be tossed.
Time to Turn the Page
It is time to turn the page. Turn down the volume on the voices from the past that can still cause pain. Resign them to mere memories and a past chapter in a book that is now closed.
It’s time for my morning cup of coffee. I’ll sip it while I watch the cats playing on the floor in front of me. I have a good life, and I’m thankful for it.
I don’t wish to be famous or become wealthy. I’m just another introverted woman living in an extroverted world.
Introvert here for the most part. But I do need to get around people sometimes. If that makes sense. Not so much to interact with, just need the energy they give off. Good or bad. But I hate being crowds, and feel claustrophobic after awhile. Like they are pressing in on me. Hard to explain.
Wonderful post! I have people ask me why I don’t go out and interact with people more and am I really happy? Yes I am! I am completely content at home with my cat, reading and Netflix. I have gone days with speaking to anyone but my cat and I am happy. nothing wrong here!
You have always had a way with words, Brenda…and can explain things using not very many words even…quite the gift. I think everyone needs to find ways to be happy alone, because most women will at some point in life, be alone. One reason I have been ok with mostly living more hermit-like is that my husband is still here. I would like it if he talked more to me, but at times it is nice to just read, research, think my own thoughts, sometimes write in my books for such things. I do think events in your life have led you to this point, altho, perhaps you might have been more solitary by nature. That is what I think for myself in my life. The jealousies of others, both kin and other people, can squash you until being alone becomes preferable. But all of us vary I think, in the amount of contact we want with others too. I suppose it is fair to say, I have been disappointed in one way or another, with virtually all relationships of my life. Other than with one set of my grandparents, who were indeed in my view, some of the best people ever on earth. I am so grateful to them and have missed them all these years tho they lived to 88 and almost 92 which was a huge blessing to us their family. I have come to believe this life is our big test…and passing that test is my goal…hoping I will get a passing grade. I have not been perfect. But I have tried and still try to be as good as possible to others. I think you do too. We just live in a super difficult time. I know things were harder in many ways, in past generations, but honestly, it seems they had something most of us now do not: intense relationships, with many being the very best of the best. I am sorry you were told such crass things by your EX. It is obvious that last husband was some kind of sociopath if not worse. One of my daughters has been married to 2 of those and swears no more. The other daughter in her 40s has never married, and does not want a creep…so slim chances now at ever finding a good man. I feel people in my generation, the free love age….what a name, seeing where we are now…have done a lousy job raising children and obviously their kids and grandkids are even worse (try living in an apt like we are and that is easily seen). People do not value each other…or much of anything of worth. Sadly. Well, at least one thing is likely the same it always was…our pets!! Hubby was talking to me the other day remembering our last dog…and how much he still misses her. He was not really a “dog person” until she came. I still wish we could handle having a dog again…made life so much better!!! Angels with fur they are!! Thanks for sharing yourself with us here!!
Wonderful post !
Food for thought……I’m more of an extrovert, I love being around people. I have a partner who is an extrovert so we do well together, thankfully we have our own homes and it’s for the best. But sometimes I need a day or two of just me time with my sweet cat Chloe, I get recharged..putter around the house, love to re-arrange decor, especially now that fall is tip toeing in…..California is ready for Indian summer, hot days, cool nights…but ready to leave summer decor behind and bring in cozy…love your posts.
Your posts are always wonderful. I am what you might call a semi-introverted woman…I have been married for 60 years, and my husband and I agree; now that we are both retired, we both like being home. We love our kids and grandkids; but none of them live in our state. We are friendly with our neighbors, but not in an intrusive way. I am wondering if your friend you reunited with is still in your life. I think she helped organize things when you moved, and you used to go thrift shopping together and go out to lunch. I am currently reading The Calamity Club. I’m about 1/2 way through. Have you read it? Jane
I’m with you. My two brothers, 9 and 6 years older, never had time for a little sister so I always entertained myself. My maternal grandma, who lived in a mobile home just a few yards from the house we lived in, was my best friend when I was young. I also realized a few years ago that my middle brother has hated me since the day I was born. Both of our parents are now gone. My husband is in very poor health even though the kidney transplant he had in March has helped some. He just has too many other problems. Life is certainly complicated. As a friend told us after he recently lost his wife who also had serious health problems, I never signed up for this. Thank you for returning to writing more personal and candid posts. You’re such a gifted writer.