The Introverted Woman

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I am the introverted woman who chooses to spend the bulk of her time alone with her kitties. It’s not that I don’t like people; I just don’t like being around them very much. Instead, I cherish solitude and find joy in singular activities.

All of my life, I’ve preferred being alone. This isn’t to say I don’t enjoy a few friends and my family. Just in small doses. It isn’t that I don’t care for or love them; I just prioritize a quiet life.

When I am around others, I need a mental reset to get back to my normal routine.

It’s time to stop pretending to be anyone other than who you are.

Introversion versus Autism : 

I am an introverted woman, and I am also on the autism spectrum. Introversion is a personality trait about how people gain energy, while autism is a lifelong, brain-based condition.

Introversion means people get their energy from quiet reflection and alone time. Introverts feel tired after too much social interaction. They prefer calm places, deep one-on-one talks, and small groups over big crowds.

Autism changes how a person acts, talks, learns, and connects with others. People are born with autism, and it affects every person in a different way.

Being autistic means you may feel things and react to them differently from non-autistic people. You may find socializing confusing or tiring, and you may become overwhelmed in loud or busy places. You may have intense interests and prefer order and routine,

You may have heard the terms “introvert” and “autistic” used interchangeably. They’re sometimes mixed up, so many people don’t know the difference. 

It’s not unusual for someone to wonder if they’re introverted before realizing they’re autistic.

A woman with a hat staring out on the water.

Introverts & Noise:

When I was a child, I found other children noisy, and it put me off. I couldn’t understand why they ran around yelling.

As a teenager, I attended one music concert. It was my first and last. Some people hear the music, but I hear noise.

Crowds are not for me. It is wonderful that in this day and age, we can order pretty much anything we want and have it delivered or sent via wifi.

Perhaps that is why I am so attuned to nature. I love watching the birds and feeding the stray cats that come to my porch. I sometimes say that nature is my religion.

  • Autism Spectrum Disorder is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects communication, sensory processing, social interaction, routines, and interests.
  • Introversion is a personality trait. Introverted people usually recharge by spending time alone or in calm, low-stimulation environments.
The introverted women is like a dark forest in the fall after the leaves have mostly fallen, with a quote about solitude.

Some autistic people are introverted, but others are very social, outgoing, talkative, or energetic around people.

An Autistic Person Might:

  • love socializing, but struggle with social cues
  • enjoy deep one-on-one conversations instead of groups
  • become overwhelmed by noise or stimulation rather than by people themselves
  • or need alone time because social interaction takes more mental effort

Autism and introversion are different things, though they can overlap. Likewise, many introverted people are not autistic at all. People sometimes confuse the two because both can involve:

  • needing solitude
  • avoiding large crowds
  • feeling drained after social situations
  • or preferring quiet hobbies. 

But the reasons behind those behaviors can differ.

For example:

  • An introvert may skip a party because they prefer quiet
  • An autistic person may skip it because of sensory overload, difficulty reading social dynamics, anxiety, or exhaustion from masking social behavior 

There’s also a lot of variation within autism itself. Some autistic people are highly expressive and socially motivated; others are more reserved. Personality still exists independently of autism.

A woman walking away, and a quote about the right to be let alone.

Empaths: 

An empath is a person who experiences other people’s emotions, energy, and physical feelings as if they were their own. While popular in psychology and wellness spaces, it is not an official medical or psychiatric diagnosis.

An empath is someone with a highly heightened ability to sense, internalize, and absorb the emotions, physical symptoms, and energies of others. 

Many introverts are empaths and feel things quite deeply. 

Common Signs of an Empath:

  • Deep absorption: Taking on the stress, sadness, or joy of others involuntarily.
  • Sensory overload: Feeling drained or anxious in crowded places or loud rooms.
  • Strong intuition: Reading nonverbal cues and hidden moods instantly.
  • Exhaustion: Needing long periods of alone time to recharge

An Introvert’s Surroundings:

What you surround yourself with reflects how you feel about life and yourself. Introverts especially need a comfortable, cozy home because we spend so much time there. It is our sanctuary, where we control our sensory experience.

The Eight Senses:

  • Sight (Visual): Light, colors, and movement.
  • Hearing (Auditory): Sounds and noise levels.
  • Smell (Olfactory): Scents and odors.
  • Taste (Gustatory): Flavors like sweet, sour, or salty.
  • Touch (Tactile): Textures, pressure, temperature, and pain.
  • Vestibular: Balance, gravity, and movement through space.
  • Proprioception: Body and muscle awareness without needing to look.
  • Interoception: Internal organ signals like hunger, heart rate, or pain.

Sensory processing differences affect over 80% of autistic individuals. This means the brain struggles to organize and respond to sensory signals, such as sight, sound, touch, movement, and internal bodily cues.

While they frequently overlap, autism involves broader social and communication traits, whereas sensory processing difficulties specifically target sensory regulation.

Having a cozy little house has always been about feeling most comfortable. I put a lot of time and effort into it because my surroundings affect how I feel.

If you are an introverted woman, you should be at home in this little space of mine. Because self-care is vitally important to someone who is both introverted and autistic. And being at home and being a homebody is part and parcel of self-care.

I write about the home, the garden, and nature because those are the things that are most important to me. And I hope I reach that part of you that loves your home and enjoys being there more than anywhere else.

I created my green bedroom because it is a soothing place to be. It is like being embraced by softness and serenity.

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10 Comments

  1. Elizabeth says:

    It is good to be able to be ok alone…because at some point in life, or even many times in life, one will be alone. I have always needed time alone to rest, relax and read…tho I do enjoy people in very small groups. Some of that however stems from hearing loss too…makes it hard to know what is going on in large noisy groups. I find it especially difficult dealing with the “adrenaline junkies”…those who must be in some kind of conflict, at least verbal, in order to get recharged. It is how some find energy. Unfortunately here in these apts, the manager is one of those. And sometimes one must TRY to communicate with her. VERY difficult however as she rarely lets you get a word in sideways…and talks over you, shouts, and is very nasty frankly. I am so happy for you that you have a GOOD place to live!!

  2. I am somewhat of an introvert. I love being at home alone with only my little dog. I don’t like a lot of noise, at my age I just want peace.
    my daughter has Aspbergers, which is on the autism scale now. She has a genius IQ but struggles with everything social. Too many people will send her out to the flower garden. She has found a way to cope with it all and be successful. I think we all have something to deal with but should never use it as a crutch. I think as long as we’re happy with whatever way we are then it’s just fine.

  3. 110% introvert. I relish being alone. Having company is utterly exhausting, which we rarely have. My husband once invited 10 people in his family here and they stayed for 10 days. My Dr. gave me Xanax. No lie. Hated every minute and darn near killed me. I do one on one – only. And even then with one on one, I’m good for about 2 hours, longer if we don’t just sit. But no groups. Hate it. Going to church and running into the prior service’s huge, loud crowd as they get out, just makes me want to crawl in a hole. Socializing is going to the store and talking to a person in line. Then I’ve had enough.

  4. Eileen in Fla. says:

    Getting older can bring such clarity – and the freedom to stop explaining and stop apologizing. To know oneself brings peace, at least for me. Thank you for this Post.

    1. Isn’t it funny how women find themselves apologizing even if they don’t know what they’re apologizing for?

  5. I must be some kind of introvert — at least part of the time. I enjoy being with people and do mind being alone for long periods — miss the stimulation of talking with others. However, after I’ve been out and about with others I do find I need some down time to recharge my energy before doing it again. I enjoy my home and it’s important that it’s decorated and kept neat and comfortable for my comfort.

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