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  1. Brenda I felt such sadness when I read what your mother and father did to you. My next emotion was admiration. You worked hard to become a journalist, you now have a successful blog and all the while you were dealing with a condition that you eventually learned was Aspergers Syndrome. You are an inspiration to others by showing you can overcome anything that life sends your way. Thank you for all your insights

  2. As usual a very well written post Brenda and one that makes me think. I love the quotes you highlight here. I'm sure helpful to lots of people. I'm glad this book has given you some peace.
    Take care

  3. I wouldn't have waited for a man to give me chocolates & I would have died before I told her they were for me, which they were. Don't want her thinking…"she must not have a man to give her chocolates." Whereas she probably never thought about me at all. She was probably thinking her feet hurt & she wanted to go home…LOL. But that's an introvert for you. An introvert (me) is inward-focused & doesn't want to call attention to themselves.

    I think the problem we discussed on my blog is fixed now Brenda. Try it again & see if you still get the white screen.

  4. Brenda,
    I will try to stop by more often because I truly enjoyed reading this post. More specifically I loved the quote by Brene Brown.

    Happy New Year!

  5. Brenda, you always give us something to think about! I enjoy coming here and finding out what's on your agenda. I know you have had a difficult life but you always "pull up your boot straps" and keep plugging along. Can't wait to see how your bathroom turns out. Haven't been posting much lately as I have acquired two Yorkie Poos which keep me busy. Loss my Westie and Welch after 16 1/2 years and said I was done with pups, but brought these two little red cuties into my life. They are sisters and are keeping me on the go. I always enjoy your stories about Charlie and Abi.

  6. I am so glad to know that reading the book help you to deal with your feelings Brenda…

  7. I am so anxious to see your remodel in your bathroom. I know it will be wonderful, as is everything you do in your sweet home. And reading good books, buying flowers and candy as a gift to yourself, that too is wonderful. Little things like that really do make a difference in a person's life, and we only live once, so making each day count, is what it's all about. Bonnie in WI, where we had 10 inches of snow yesterday, and as I write this, the wind chill is -5. Staying in where it's Cozy warm.

  8. Everyone should treat themselves to little somethings every once in awhile.
    I have a bottle of Mrs Meyer's hand soap in my bathroom. I find I don't need a lot of cleaning supplies. My go-to all-purpose cleaner is a natural cleaner from Trader Joe's that's only $2.99 for a huge bottle. I use it for the kitchen counters, stove and table, as well as everything in the bathroom. I use vinegar to clean my toilets. Bar Keeper's Friend cleans the tub and shower.

  9. Brenda, I'm so glad I found this book through your blog. I think it's helped me already and I'm only half way through it. Thanks!

  10. The book sounds wonderful…I am glad it has brought you some peace. I think acceptance is a good thing for helping anyone live a more peaceful, less stressful life.
    Looking forward to seeing the bathroom come together!

  11. I always like your book reviews and we have talked in the past about the estrangement of our adult children. We were one of the lucky ones that the 'child' found its way back to the family fold and decided it wasn't so bad after all. I pray that happens for you, too, someday. But-in between the estrangement and reconnection we had to 'give it over'–we had to "let go"..and that was painful but necessary. Once we had done that we found some peace that had eluded us for years.

    Can't wait to see your new bathroom. At least in the apartment they will let you paint-that isn't always the case. xo Diana

  12. I did it–bought myself a bunch of flowers in the grocery store today–then I started to panic as I realized I did not a vase to put them in–but–suddenly I remembered I had an old 2 quart canning jar sitting on the counter at home–and it turned out being perfect for them–now I have planned to buy myself some flowers for–years really–but then always talked myself out of spending that money–but not today!!! Thanks–
    Enjoy the moments di
    you can see my flowers over on my blog site!!

  13. I would like to make a comment that I hope is not inappropriate. You have posted a lot about being rejected as a mother, but there are those of us, and I am one of them, that are rejected by our mothers. My mother did not want me and she seemed to take pleasure in letting me know that. She also did everything within her power, and boy did she have a lot of power, to ruin my life. And I did everything in my power to try and earn her love and approval, all to no avail. I finally moved away and the distance did wonders for me. I have found that the things you have posted from Done With The Crying have helped me immensely. I only wish I had realized some of these things sooner. I am a little older than you are and I find it extremely sad that we have had to live so long with such hurt and pain. But we teach people how treat us.

    Your photos are beautiful and add so much to your posts. Love your flowers and I bought myself a box of chocolates for Christmas also!

    1. It's not at all inappropriate. My own mother and father sold me to the landlady to pay back rent when I was six weeks old. But I think that if, like you, I'd actually grown up with such a mother, it would have been far worse. I'm so sorry.

  14. I am so glad you found the book helpful. I am blessed to not have that situation in my life but I can only imagine how hurtful it is. I think a white bathroom is wonderful and then add color with accessories. I too treat myself to little presents! I'm worth it for sure! I've heard only good things about Mrs. Meyers products, might be time to try them.

  15. Brenda, it sounds like this book has been very helpful to you and I think you are helping many others by sharing the wisdom and insight you have gained. Looking forward to your bathroom remodel!

  16. Thank you for recommending Done with the crying! My daughter has not contacted me in 15 years. I have no idea why she's doing this but I've written to her and the mail is returned to me. I have reached a point where I have some peace with this but will definitely buy the book. Thanks again Brenda! Also love that you treat yourself to flowers and candy

  17. Glad to hear you are taking care of yourself.

  18. Interesting post, Brenda! Thank you for the book recommendations. I'm so glad you now buy yourself flowers, candy, whatever. You're so right in that a man is not needed for that! 🙂 Being good to yourself is so important!

    We've had temps from almost 80 to 18! This week we're in the high 70's with constant wind. The Mountain Cedar is horrible and will get worse. The Hill Country of Texas is a major source of cedar trees and the winds are blowing it this way. I'm highly allergic to it so it's not a pleasant way to live right now. I think the trees are getting confused and might begin to bloom…hopefully, that doesn't happen! We'll definitely have more freezing temps.

    Have a wonderful week! Can't wait to see the bathroom changes.


  19. I loved this post, and it sure does sound like you have grown a lot this past year.

    I cannot wait to see your new bathroom remodel, I am sure you are so excited. I like the idea of white walls in the bathroom. With your love of color, you can change out your shower curtain whenever you want, and also the towels. So fun!

    When I moved to this apartment 4 years ago, I was so excited as it had beige walls and beige tile fireplace surround, and beige tiled kitchen and entry with white cabinets. Now I am so tired of the beige and I wish I had white walls, which seem so clean looking to me as well as they make a blank canvas for art, decor and any color of accessories you might want.

    But since I cannot change it, especially the beige tile everywhere, I have decided to embrace it and am decorating in a more woodsy, rustic style which is relaxing and comfortable. And I know myself well enough to know that even if I had white walls, I might eventually wish I had the beige walls back since I do love all the earth toned colors and neutrals.

  20. That book sounds like it can benefit anyone, even those that aren't estranged from children. I don't think too many of us are immune to hurt and disappointment.

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