I Wish I’d Known
This post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase through links on my site, I may earn a commission at no cost to you. For more information, please see my disclosure policy.
Do you ever find yourself saying, “I wish I’d known what I know now”?
I was actually thinking about that just this morning.
I want to tell you a little story. A 43-year-old woman in Washington state lives in a 1982 RV in the woods. Her name is Annie.
She said she didn’t plan for her life to turn out the way it has, but she seems happy living alone with her sweet dog and cat. She’s okay with not getting married and having kids.
What I wish I’d known: That I could do something like that. Go live in the woods in a 1982-era RV, where it’s just the trees, the sky, and nature.
A Traditional Path
I followed a fairly traditional pattern, as many women do. It’s what was expected. But what I should have done was ask myself, what do I want?
Oh, I wish I’d known what I know now.
I don’t begrudge having my girls. Of course I don’t. But I wish I’d realized that once they were grown, I could forge my own brand new path.
I had the kids young, so I was only about 34 when Kendra graduated from high school. And I was married.
And you know what? Looking back, I don’t think I was ever really happy being married.
It was like the shoe just didn’t quite fit. It was a little too short, a little too tight. And I just kept going through life with my foot in the same shoe.
Why? I don’t know.
Annie@Annnsvan
I wasn’t as brave as Annie. It didn’t even occur to me that I could venture out into the world and craft a new life.
Oh, I wish I’d known what I know now.
Annie’s on social media and has sponsors. But what is so special about Annie is that she didn’t plan for her life to be like it is either. It just happened.
She turned 40, then 41, then 42, and now 43, and this is her life. Her babies are her precious furbabies. They are her family.
Annie did it her own way.
Me? I let myself get bogged down with commitments and yearly holidays that made me anxious.
And then ended up taking years to get my journalism degree because, you know, life got in the way.
I followed the path of least resistance. Just went along like I knew where I was going and had a destination. But I didn’t.
I was toddling along like a little girl in her mother’s high heels. Trying not to stumble and fall.
Annie bought herself a 1982 RV in the woods and made a beautiful life for herself. If I were her, I’d be awfully proud of that.
I don’t even know her, and I’m proud of her.
Women typically try to fit a mold someone else poured for them. They tend to step into shoes that don’t fit. And they walk around for years with a sore foot and blisters forming.
Then They Grow Old…
They get sucked into a vortex that they aren’t strong enough to climb out of. Then they wake up one day, and they’ve become old.
They aren’t as strong as they once were. Their lack of balance makes them teeter on the edge of life.
They didn’t know those years were malleable when they were younger and in better shape. Before life dulled the edges of dreams that they never even dared to dream.
Years pass, and they find themselves looking behind them more than they look ahead. They become acutely aware that they have far less time ahead of them, and kick themselves for not stepping out there when they were better able to.
Year after year passes without them taking a single step around that curve in the highway they can’t see around. They never got up the nerve to even try.
I wish I’d known what I know now.
They are women who would never live in an Annie-like world. Never step out onto her newly built wooden deck and stare at the stars shining in the inky black sky of the woods.
Brandie
Just like Brandie, who is now plowing her way into a new life in a $1500 trailer in her parents’ yard. Leaving an old life behind and stepping out into the great unknown.
Scared, often in tears, but moving forward, even if it’s just a few feet at a time.
The other day, right before her 40th birthday, Brandie (@startingoversimply_) was working to get her bedroom in her $1500 trailer in order so she could sleep in it when she stepped on a rusty nail.
She had to go to Urgent Care to get a shot. But she came home and took up where she left off. Brandie didn’t let a rusty nail stop her. She didn’t let a birthday without a husband stop her.
What motivates those two women, Annie and Brandie, is the belief that change is possible, that life can be different once they get around that bend in the road.
They’ve figured out that you have to reach out and grab it before the window of opportunity closes and the blinds go down for good.
What smart women!
The Legacy of Dolly Parton
Dolly Parton paved her own way. She just died at age 80. Just a little thing, but with a great big beautiful voice and determination.
Because of Dolly, people around the world are grieving. Because she gave so much.
Dolly founded Imagination Library, dedicated to inspiring a love of reading by gifting books free of charge to children from birth to age five. All over the world.
What a legacy to leave behind.
Throughout her 58-year marriage to her husband, Carl Dean, the couple never welcomed children of their own. Dolly, with her great big hair, breasts, and red lipstick, was a force to be reckoned with.
Carl Dean died on March 3, 2025, at the age of 82. And not even two years later, Dolly followed him.
I imagine I’ll be humming “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” for the next week or so.
We will all truly miss Dolly Rebecca Parton. (January 19, 1946 – August 25, 2026)
Annie + Brandie
What do you think Dolly Parton would say to Annie and Brandie?
I think she’d say: Just keep moving, and don’t stop until you figure out where you’re going.
I’m still trying to improve my survival time in Escape Road. https://www.majescogames.com/
This deeply resonated with me today. For years, I stayed on the expected path, making decisions just to keep everyone else comfortable while ignoring my own quiet wishes. It took me a long time to realize that it’s never too late to redefine your life and value your own time. A close friend recently moved away to chart her own journey, and watching her embrace total independence—even through small choices like looking to book escort girls in Yavne discreetly on her terms—reminded me how liberating it is to stop living for other people’s expectations and start honoring what we truly want.
Knowing what I know now there are so many things I would have done differently and I struggled with feeling like I frittered half of my life away. After beating cancer twice I finally realized that what’s done is done and am moving forward in my quiet, peaceful 30 year old trailer with my cat and peace. I choose to focus not on what if but what’s next.
The detail about asking the motel clerk for the safest room really stayed with me. It shows how much planning and fear can be hidden behind what outsiders might casually call “just leaving.” It also makes the random stuff that floats around posts, like https://duck-hunters-slot.org/ , feel especially jarring when the subject is someone’s safety. I’m definately cheering for Brandie, and for every woman trying to build a peaceful life from almost nothing.
Reba McEntire had a song released in 1992 called “Is There Life Out There?” It’s about a woman who has done all the things that she “should”, but she’s wondering if there’s something more. I guess we’ve all wondered that at some point.
I am now following Annie on IG – what an interesting life! My son is 35 and he is happy being single. So far, he has no desire to get married or have kids. I would love to be a grandma one day, but it’s his life, not mine. As long as he’s happy, that’s all that counts. I’m just glad he knows what he wants right now and that he doesn’t feel pressured into getting married b/c his friends are doing it or whatever.
I am glad I married such a wonderful man and that we’ve been married almost 42 years. I got lucky. However, looking back, I definitely wouldn’t have gotten married so young. I would’ve waited. I should’ve tried living on my own first or with a friend and going back to college. Oh well, no regrets!
I probably would not do what Annie and Brandie have done but it surely is food for pondering. And even when we are much older (as I am) there are still things we can do now that we didn’t have time or energy for before that make our lives more interesting and pleasant.
Thanks for this, Brenda—it resonated with me. Like you, I went the ‘traditional’ route into marriage(s) and a child. And now that my son is grown and doing well, realizing I can do better for myself. Here’s to the next part of life!
Hurrah for the next part!
What remarkable and courageous women. Life is uncertain. We make our plans, then stuff happens and our lives can take a whole different path. And everyone’s journey is different. They say you don’t regret the things you did, only the things you didn’t do. Actually, it’s probably a little bit of both.
Dolly was a wonderful woman who brought many people joy through her music and kindness. She will be greatly missed!
I, too, think it’s a little of both.
Advice I wish I had been given. Not all jobs are 9 to 5.
Great advice!
Well, this life is for learning right? Mercy, we have a lot of it to do. I think most of us would not make all the same choices again. I am not sure what I would do. But I got more difficulty than I could hardly handle. Like many. Well, we do our best right? Thanks for sharing!!
And we do a lot of learning!
I lived for 7 months in an Assisted Living facility. Someone should write a book about those women, a few men but mostly women. I was there quite awhile before they would talk to me. What I observed was not loneliness or sadness or illness–it was regret. Why didn’t I finish my college degree? Why didn’t I have children? Why did I stay after his affair? Why didn’t I save more money and buy IRAs? No wonder old women look so sad and down-trodden. I bet Dolly passed away with a smile on her face — no regrets, goals achieved and plenty of money.
I bet she did! What a woman.
Hello brenda As I understand what you are saying… for the children I was able to resist the pressure but for the rest… and one morning we wake up… not much time, the dishes don’t iron (a little humor to lighten our awareness), it was only one meal;) Thank you for your posts that I follow on the other side of the Atlantic.
And I’m so glad you come here to visit!