Learning To Embrace The Gray
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I’m learning to embrace the house’s gray walls and cabinets that I named Mamie.
Did you think I was referring to gray hair in the title? Well, I’m doing that too. I’m trying to let my hair grow. There’s just this stubborn cowlick that drives me round the bend. Does anyone know how to deal with that?
Anyway, this paint color has been in the house for a while. As Kendra said, years ago, gray was “the” color in house interiors. ‘Tis true.
So learning to embrace the gray is part of this new journey I’m on.
I never cared for this color in my Crayola box. When I thought of the color gray, I’d always think of people saying: “Oh my, it’s such a gray day!” I don’t recall hearing anyone say: “Well, isn’t it a beige day outside?”
This morning I was awake at 4 a.m. worrying myself about this. Those wild ideas you get in the wee hours of the morning before light creeps underneath the curtains. I asked myself if I should try to get the walls painted before I move in next week. But then the cabinets are gray too, I reminded myself.
This, of course, is ridiculous. You can’t expect to get something that big done inside a week. And then dollar signs painted themselves across the dark walls of my bedroom.
Learning to embrace the gray isn’t about rushing decisions. It’s about accepting “what is.” And working with it. Maybe even enjoying it.
It isn’t that I don’t like it. I’ve just never worked with this hue before. I look at the gray walls, and a question mark automatically appears above my head.
Just Embrace It Already:
So just a few hours ago, I decided to embrace the gray walls. It’s silly to worry over such a thing when so many folks in this town are homeless and don’t even have any walls. Let it go, I told myself. It doesn’t matter if I don’t own a thing that is gray. (Well, several pairs of sweat pants and two tee-shirts.)
The gray is kind of beginning to grow on me. I guess if you look at something enough times, it’s sort of a given that you will come to accept it. (Most of my looking is still online, of course.) I’m now bound and determined to work my furniture and decor into Mamie’s gray haven. I’m landing in a nest, and that’s all that matters.
Color is coming back into my home in a big way. I’m weary of the neutrals. I still think neutral furniture is a good idea unless you have the money to switch out couches and chairs often.
Neutral Furnishings/Colorful Accessories:
The point is to “build” upon those neutral colors with a few or a plethora of colors. I’ve got a Crayon box of colors now swimming in my head. I’m craving color.
I’ll show you photos of some of the new changes Kendra sent me this morning. This poor girl has to work for a living around all my stuff, and boy, does she need time off!
I told her to give me a list of plumbers, electricians, etc., and I will handle things concerning Mamie from now on. She can let go of the reins on November 1st.
The Porch Railing:
These are just quick cell phone pics she sent. Keep in mind that the house will be painted whenever the painter has Mamie on his schedule. We’ve pretty much decided on blue siding, white trim, and a green door.
Maybe even a green mailbox. And I could look into green house number, I suppose. I like things to look balanced. The white trim was either Kendra’s or the painter’s idea.
I don’t know about those black objects that look like they’re holding the roof up, figuratively speaking.
And not figuratively speaking, the top does sag a bit. I don’t suppose it will fall, will it? It must be hard holding something up for 103 years and counting.
The Quilt Closet Shelves:
Kendra decided to have someone build shelves in one of the closets for my quilts. I didn’t ask for this. It was her idea.
As you can imagine, people must not have had many clothes in 1921 because the closets are tiny. It might be time to start checking Facebook Marketplace for one of those old wardrobes we used to have when I was a child.
The Shower Grab Bars:
She decided to have grab bars installed next to the toilet as well. It makes you feel old when your child (who will, incidentally, be 50 in November) decides that you need grab bars in the bathroom.
“I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” Remember that Life Alert TV commercial? I have always managed to get up. So far, anyway.
Once at my old apartment, I recall waking up on my living room floor in the middle of the night. The last memory I had was of walking down the hallway. I just got up and went back to bed.
Weather Stripping:
I think it was Jan who mentioned that weather stripping was needed for the back door. She is always so pragmatic and wise. I can always count on Jan to come up with practical ideas that haven’t occurred to me yet. (Thanks, Jan! I sure appreciate you!)
You could see through a crack between the door and the door jamb. The weather stripping has been added.
It looks like someone moved the old refrigerator into this space. The new one arrives next week.
Hallway, Doorway, Or Anteroom?
I don’t really know what to call this area. It’s not really called a hallway or a doorway.
The hallway from the front door to the back is more expansive than I expected. I think it’s more than six feet wide.
An anteroom? Is it called an anteroom?
(I’m typing with a wrist and thumb brace, and I’m sleep-deprived, so things may not be perfect.)
Oh, and who is embracing gray hair? Anyone?
Can’t wait to see Mamie after you get settled in and get her decorated, she’s gonna be one gorgeous lady!
I made the decision a couple of years back to let my gray hair come in, love not having to keep up with color. The women in my family go a beautiful salt and pepper gray and I will wear it and love it.
You would not believe how many compliments I get about my shirt gray hair. I use a product from Sally’s to tone the brassiness.
It will stain everything like towels so I use it carefully. I have a cookbook with funny comments. One says something like “I find two groups with purple hair interesting; teenagers and mature women.” I hope you enjoy your natural color as much as I do. Mamie is one of us, too.
This is so exciting. Your decorating posts have been some of my favorites for years. My apartment has gray walls and I can’t wait to see what you do with yours.
I think gray walls can offer a great chance to add splashes of most any color(s) because it is so neutral. Think of what colors you like with gray in your wardrobe. I’m a huge fan of bright primary colors so I often put red, royal blue, hot pink and Kelly green with gray. Also, one decorating tip I learned from my mother is that every room should have a touch of black…a great compliment to gray!
I love reading your stories about Mamie. I also love old houses and wish I could live in one like yours. Have fun and enjoy your little gem!!!
Your red accents and dishes will go great with the gray. Embrace the color and then make changes after 9 to 12 months and it will feel like a new room. Take it one step at a time.
There are so many comments already that I haven’t read them all, so this may already have been said. While gray isn’t a color I like either, it is a fabulous neutral base that almost every color pops against. I think you will find it can look even better than a neutral white or beige that you are used to. don’t try to “include” it in your decor, just use all your favorite colors as usual, and the gray will fade into the background. that’s pretty nice of her to install those closet shelves. and I love a wide hallway, enjoy it!
I’m embracing the gray hair but it’s a big challenge at times. I was blonde until my teen years then dark strawberry blond until the gray started. During the pandemic my home color grew out & now my hair is graying heavily in front with more & more salt & pepper elsewhere. I can’t get used to the “pepper” since my hair was never dark brown like my mom & sister! It’s just weird! So I have a pixie with heavy gray in front. If I could afford lowlights to even things out, I would do that. I want to embrace aging but it’s tough, you know?
I prefer any color wall to white since being a lifelong renter, that’s been my default forever. A tiny house I rented in the early pandemic had light gray walls. I liked the contrast. I saw it as more of a neutral & lots of natural light hid any “gloom”!
You may want a couple of accent walls after you settle in. Or not. Your lovely houseplants will bring green inside!
Kudos to you for taking on such a huge moving project – Just a quick comment on ‘grey’ – not my favorite either, but last year I did 6 months in Assisted Living with grey apt. walls. I used lots of yellow and also bright white in my bedding, rugs, etc. That cheered me up and was tempered by the grey walls. Pink & grey were popular in the ’50s – also turquoise goes well with greys. I’m enjoying your move vicariously. Thanks for taking us stay-at-homes along.
I have varying shades of gray in my house … walls are light gray, kitchen cabinets are white on top, and a warm gray below. I used the warm gray on decorative shelves also. It’s been very easy to decorate with … I started with purple and green a few years ago when we moved in and have transitioned to various shades of teal and aqua. The tile floors are a light greige and carpet in the bedrooms is a medium silvery gray. I live in hot!! Arizona and everyone has beige or white and I wanted something a little different but not overpowering and it’s worked well for me. With your love of color I think you will find it a very friendly color to work with. Can’t wait to see what you do with your new home.
I can already see that you are unhappy with little things even before you move in to your rental.Its not perfect. It’s a rental. You shouldn’t change everything your daughter has spent money on to fix it up. It’s beautiful as is.
I have the grey wall going on here. I have mixed it with yellows, burnt oranges, navy blue, red and greens. Of course not all at the same time. I have been reading your blog since you were in Texas. You write very well. As I have always lived in old houses and at times had no running water that room was used to do the laundry. We also had no power so we either did it by hand in a tub or, when we got an electric wringer washer we would run a long extension cord to that area. I am in Canada and we always called it the utility room.
Heh, I have not colored my hair in many years (now in 70s). But being I was red haired, mine is not that much gray…kind of sandy colored basically now. But I figured I earned every single gray hair so why not wear them proudly??
As to gray walls…seems you could use every colorful thing you want and it look nice. at least it is a more neutral color. I think the peace and quiet of the place will make it wonderful for you!! And THAT will be great!!
I have a gray sectional, and switch out the pillows! Right now I have green and white, previously have had rust, pink, and red at Christmas. It’s neutral and looks good with most colors. I know I’ve seen yellow used a lot. My walls are Alabaster so that keeps things bright. You have such a cute style, it will look beautiful 😻
You must just be pinching yourself with all the new space ! Not to mention your front porch!!
I am pinching myself about the whole situation. Getting to live in Mamie and decorating an old house!
I think you’ll love the gray. I have a gray couch with an accent red chair and white furniture. The gray gives me a place for my eyes to rest as they’re scanning the room. I use different colors of pillows when I want to add a punch of color. I like simple decor so it all works for me. Give it a chance.
I’m looking at it as a challenge that, not that there’s anything wrong with the gray, I just haven’t decorated with it. So yes, it will be a nice challenge. And I love a challenge!
Brenda, I was in your new house for a couple of hours and I couldn’t have told you what colors the walls were. They should be a great backdrop for whatever you want to do without being distracting. I would never paint walls gray myself because I’m crazy for greens and a more lively look, but I don’t think the gray will bother you at all. When I move into a new home I like to just leave it for a while and wait for the house to tell me what to do. I know that sounds crazy but in time I can usually just suddenly see what I want to change, but after 3 years in this house, it still wasn’t saying anything to me, except maybe that it hated me too. After my husband passed away, I just got mad and attacked it. I painted some very questionable colors just to say I could if I wanted to. And after a while I replaced the entire kitchen and toned the paint colors down a little. It was an ugly battle, but I think we’re very happy now that it feels pretty. It’s good that I finally like it because I’m starting to take painting walls and ceilings a little more seriously than I did 10 years ago.
That’s my plan, let things be and grow accustomed to the layout of the house first. Be able to sit down and look around me at already is there, then see what I think needs changed. I recall you telling me about those colors! I think sometimes we need to make a statement of some sort, just to say we did it.
I have embraced my gray hair for a few years now. I also have gray walls (lighter than yours) but can’t afford to repaint at this time so I forget about them and decorate with the colors I want. You can repaint room by room as your budget allows, perhaps the kitchen first in a lovely white.
So much fun with your new place.
It is like a blank page I haven’t drawn or colored yet.
Brenda, I think once you get into the house you can make the gray work. And if you decide later on that you do not like it have someone paint it.
For now, enjoy the prospect of a place of your own. So excite for you.
Oh Elizabeth, I’m enjoying that prospect very much! I remember when you moved. I think you moved from another state though, so a bigger move than mine will be. I’m moving under 10 miles away.
I am so happy for you Brenda…such wonderful news for you.. cannot wait to see you decorate…you deserve this and I hope it brings you peace…blessings always 💕
Thank you. And I think it will.
I know gray was the rage for awhile – my bedroom walls are a light gray with blue undertones and our main bathroom walls are a dark gray – but, I still like them! It’s a neutral color, so easy to use any accent colors. You will have so much fun decorating! And Mamie is going to be absolutely beautiful when she’s painted.
Oh, I can’t wait to see that old girl painted brighter colors!
Brenda, as you said, Mamie is 103 years old. Just live with her for a while. She will gradually tell you what she wants and you two can have lovely conversations and come to some good compromises. You’ve moved enough that you know that after setting up the bed and getting the kitchen basics in place the rest will wait.
Please consider adding one more grab bar to the long wall in the tub/shower.
As for gray hair, I have never colored my hair because I can’t stand the smell. It made the decision easy. As I tell folks, I’ve earned these stripes.
The tub is one of those surrounds that you can’t put anything into I think. I know we talked about that, but I can’t recall exactly what Kendra told me. Yes, I think we have earned those stripes! I’ll look tomorrow when Kasi and I go there. It will only be my third time to visit.
I’ve read (maybe here in one of the comments here) that Tea Tree Oil might help ease the pain in arthritic hands. Glad you got the weather stripping in around the back door, it makes a world of difference keeping out the cold drafts (and even snow being blown in) during the cold winter months! You may want to take a look at the front door from the inside to see if you can see light around the perimeter between the door and the frame, it could use some new/thicker weather stripping. When I moved into my current house I inherited a dark gray kitchen with orangey-oak cabinets and a much worn laminate countertop. I’ve been here 10 years and still haven’t gotten around to painting the kitchen. Every year I tell myself I’m going to get a new countertop installed and hire painters to spray paint the kitchen cabinets, but I can’t make up my mind about what color(s) to do the cabinets and whether I should replace the dark vinyl plank floor in the kitchen/dining space that is practical for cleaning but doesn’t go with the orangey-oak cabinets at all. I like the dark gray wall color. The kitchen gets bright light during the day and in the summer especially the gray color makes it feel “cooler” in the house. I’m not a fan of very light colored walls, they make me feel cold but maybe that’s just because I’m old and I get cold easily. Timed steps will eventually get you where you want to go with Mamie. Living in your new home for awhile to see how the light plays through the rooms at different times of the day and during the four seasons, will pay off because you’ll be able to use the sunlight to your advantage when thinking about color combos and decor, and even how to arrange the furniture to best advantage. We’ll probably drive you bonkers with our suggestions 🙂 You’ve got lovely art pieces and the quilts that you can use to “tone down” or “dress up” the gray, and change things with the season. That outside beam across the front porch whee there’s a slight sag happening – looks like it may have been cut into 2 parts? I see what looks like a seam but that could just be my wonky eyes or how the light hit the porch structure when the photo was taken. If it does look like it was sawed and then patched back together, the structure might be somewhat compromised if the beam isn’t adequately reinforced. Or maybe the small posts on each side of the steps (the narrow beams painted white) may need to be replaced with thicker posts to give the large beam across the top of the porch more support. Your daughter will know a lot more about that and how to check it out.
All good ideas. Well, Mamie has made it this far. I guess she isn’t too worn out for me and Ivy. Ivy is needing lots of love. She’s nervous about all the boxes I think.
Brenda, So many of us do not prefer grey, but you have such an eye for color and design Mamie is going to be beautiful! I think you came to a good conclusion to let it ride for awhile. Once all your furniture and decor have been placed you will have a chance to pick something more to your liking. Don’t rush it and try to get it done before you move. Kendra has found you a gem that is clean, safe and a big step out of the problems with apartment rentals that have plagued you. I look forward to seeing all the creative solutions in future posts. Take good care of yourself for the journey. All good wishes sent to you, Sherry B
I feel like I should have gotten some packing done today. But I’m just plumb tuckered out.
We moved into a new house 5 years ago and had the walls painted Sherwin Williams “Mindful Gray” and the trim/doors white. I love NAVY with gray. I have a navy leather sofa, navy “L” shaped desk, and gray and navy comfy chair. I accent with colorful quilts, throw pillows, and area rug. There is so much you can do with gray. I am glad you are getting settled in before winter. You and Ivy enjoy your new home!
Well that makes me feel better!
I should really not hit send so fast. LOL. Having said all I said on the gray, I’d live with it then ponder. There may be some rooms you embrace it and others you don’t. If there is one room you’re thinking a no, then I’d get that painted soon. It’s very hard to tell without seeing natural light. Then you may want one wall in a room painted. I don’t see that you own a lot of huge and heavy items to move around. I’d let it sit a bit. The closet is nice that she did that for you!! The sagging porch overhang could just be settling where the supports sit, but without really seeing it, who knows. It’s just a quirk. Either way, once you’re moved I’m sure your decorative juices will really hit since it’s all different than what you’ve had – which makes it fun!!!
I imagine all houses over 100 year old have some quirks, and as Kendra likes to say, things that are wonky.
I don’t like gray, and find it makes me think of a drab wintery day. But, painting can wait if you decide you really don’t like it later. You may like it.
My hair is silver/gray and has been since I retired. I like it and sure don’t miss the costs and bother of coloring.
Your house is lovely, really like the exterior paint colors you chose.
Well I’m determined to put all my creative juices into this endeavor.
Maybe you should think about changing your moving date to mid-November. It would give all of you a little more breathing room and more time for your hands and ankle to rest between packing boxes
No, I’ll manage. I can always have the movers help pack. Especially the kitchen. As it is, I can barely walk around in here.
Your kitchen cabinets have raised borders. This gives you the opportunity to paint a different color inside the borders. White, or a lighter gray, would brighten up the kitchen. This might sound risky, but I’ve seen two kitchens with wallpaper or sticky shelf paper on the recessed cabinet panels. Both kitchens ended up with a custom, cozy look. You would get a very unique look if you papered an accent wall, and used the same paper on the cabinet panels. For that matter, a stenciled pattern could be painted on the raised cabinet borders. One word of caution about gray: It can be cool, with a blue undertone, or a warm gray with a yellow undertone. Stay within the cool or warm family, and the results will look good.
You know stuff! LOL This is great!
I doubt I can put much of anything on that bare wall in the kitchen. Regrettably, and since it was Kendra’s first flip house, she covered two fireplaces with drywall. And that’s one of them. Yesterday I was looking online at whole wall murals that adhere with a gluey backing.
I had a house that was painted gray. Even the floors were gray. Used a lot of red, various shades of blue and some green accents. I loved it and so did many that saw it.
I think I can deal with it. Just haven’t done it before. I’m sure every day I’ll get more comfortable with it.
Mmm. I don’t do grey. It would have to go. It’s too dark an dreary. I know myself. If I try to embrace what I don’t initially like, it just grinds on me later. At 63, I know this. But you don’t have to do it all at once. You could go room by room. I “could” do the cabinets, but the countertop would have to be white or something light and the walls light or some color. And knobs. Fun knobs or glass. I don’t know how bright Mamie is since the blinds are all closed, but I don’t do dark in the least. I’d be investing in a paint job. On the upside, the house color sounds fun and wonderful!!! (Paint the black thingys green or white.)But gray…nope, nope. No can do. Last year I had someone do 3 huge rooms – living/family/master. $650. Well worth it. I’ll make bets you’ll need the inside painted. You don’t seem to be a grey person. 🙂
I told Kendra to go light or white on the countertops. I don’t know what she chose yet.
My craft room is painted gray, and I love it. I have lots of colorful vintage pillows on the day bed. Yellow looks great with gray, as does red, the green shade you love, white of course, and even beige (which I don’t care for). Pink, too. I’m so excited for you and your move!
And I just ordered yellow sheets from Amazon the other day. I seem to now only have one set of sheets…
i had charcoal grey carpet installed and light grey walls when I bought my house 10 yrs ago. I love it. I can put any color accents with it and it all blends in.
I know it is like any other neutral. It will be a challenge for me. I’ll look at it like that.
I’m not a fan of gray either, but I think it will be lovely in the end.
And gray – or white, in my case – hair is wonderful!!!
I haven’t even had my hair cut for the past four and a half years. Trying to grow it out sounds like enough of a trial. Much less having to color it.
Brenda I think you will come to love the gray. We built a home 7 years ago and I had the whole inside painted gray. It was a Sherwin Williams color and it’s fairly light, but I have always loved it and will never change it. I use lots of color in each room. I am so glad to watch your journey and know you and Ivy will be very happy here! Hope your hands are better after you rest today. Have you ever used an essential oil called Frankensense? (I didn’t spell that right) It is for pain and it WORKS. At lease for me.
Have a restful day. I love all the ladies comments they make. So helpful!
I’ll check that out. What I just realized is that there’s lots of natural light to shine on the gray with all those windows.
I had 2 gray bathrooms in my other house and loved the softness of that color with white trim. My teal blues and peach colors went beautifully with it! I’m thinking your reds and olive greens and colorful quilts will look gorgeous against the grays! I liked the gray much better than beiges and tans. Marilyn
I may come to like it better too.
Hey Brenda,
I’m so happy for you! This is going to be exciting to move into Mamie! I like the gray and it does go with any color, so there is that!!! Have fun decorating.
Love, Angie
Oh, I will enjoy it. Now if I can just stop thinking and get some sleep!
I say gray is fine because you can accent to your hearts delight! Red comes to mind. I have a pop of red in all my rooms.
As far as the gray hair goes, I’m thinking about it. I’m pretty tired of having mine colored. I’m having a total knee replacement on the 4th of Nov and it’ll be awhile until I can see my hairdresser anyway. Doesn’t mean we’re old, it means we’re seasoned!
Yes, never thought of it that way. We’re seasoned! Good luck with the knee replacement.
I love that, we’re seasoned! My hair is white!
You can always paint down the road, Brenda, but I think you may be surprised how nicely your furniture and accessories will look against the gray, especially all your red items. As my Dad said to me when we moved into our home years ago and I wanted to change so many things right away, “you’ll be surprised how you’ll learn to live with it when you start to make the mortgage payments!” Get settled, live with things as they are for a few months, then prioritize how you want to change things as you can afford them. In the spring, I know you will want to get started on the garden!
I can imagine he was right!
You could save your pennies to have the interior rooms painted, one or two rooms at a time. (That much gray would be hard for me to live with.) Good for you making the best of it!
As for living with gray hair, I love it. I quit having it colored 15 years ago and never looked back. I do have it style cut every other month, to keep it looking nice.
The countdown to the big move is on! I hope that the rest of your packing goes smoothly.
Ugh! Today I haven’t packed a thing. My ankle hurts and both hands.
I like the gray and love your gray kitchen cabinets. I think you will like the gray once you get your furniture and things in the house. You can always add color with your decorations, etc.
Thank you for taking us along with your journey of your new home, Mamie.
P. S. We have grab bars in our bathroom and at first I didn’t use them but now I do and am glad they are there.
Joan Kurth
If I start sliding, I’m sure I’ll love them.
The grey will be a lovely “backdrop” FOR YOUR ACCESSORY COLORS. RED ESPECIALLY !
Several of you have mentioned red. And when I pictured it in my head, I realized your are right!
I think the gray in the kitchen will make all the red items you have show them off better. Just like all the accessories, quilts, plants and picture will be a “pop” of color. Just look after yourself and everything will come together – you always make everything look warm and cozy.
I can’t get myself moving today. I’m afraid if I push it today, I won’t be able to do anything for the next days when it’s really crunch time.