We are all capable of so much more than we think we are. Sometimes we realize that when we come to the place where the rubber meets the road.

There are times we want to throw up our hands and admit defeat. 

But a little vein of purple defiance springs up and tells us that we can stretch whatever we have, whatever we are, just a little bit farther. 

We aren’t going to break. We aren’t made of glass.

Mothers lift monstrously heavy cars off their offspring in moments of sheer panic with jolts of adrenaline. Before they did it, they’d have said they couldn’t. 

But they didn’t give it a thought because there simply wasn’t a choice. 

Sometimes life is just that simple.

At the end of the year, I tend to get a bit philosophical. 

I like to think back on what I learned the past year, what I came to understand about myself.

We don’t get do-overs. Life is lived minute by minute. Every second we hesitate is another second we agonize over a decision.

And really, the right thing is the thing you end up doing. 

If you don’t take a road, then you don’t know where that other path might have taken you. 

You can’t be in two places at one time.

So that other road, the one not taken, is irrelevant.

Do you ever wonder what price is yours to pay? 

I think if I learned one important little nugget of fine-spun gold knowledge this past year, it is that I don’t have to carry every load. Every bit of baggage that I’ve acquired in my life’s journey.

That baggage weighs you down, wears you out. 

So I’m going to tell it to you straight. 

Put it down. 

Place it at the side of the road. Hide it in the recycling bin. Cover it with a tarp.

Set it down right now before you even have time to think about it. There’s no need to keep carrying it. It doesn’t do anyone any good.

Least of all, you.

I’ve learned that peace is priceless. And sometimes that’s what the choices in life come down to. 

So make it easy on yourself. 

You can have it one of two ways. 

Do you want peace in your life? 

Then do away with whatever is standing in your way. In front of peace. 

Take your fork and stand over the trash and scrape it right off your plate into the bin. 

Let it go.

Take the suffering or guilt or pain or whatever it is and just subtract it from your life’s equation. Throw it into the wind and watch the forces of nature lift it up into the sky. 

Out of sight. Gone for good. No turning back.

The choice is yours to make.

Take that little girl by the hand, the one you used to be. Tell her everything is going to be all right. 

Give her hand a little squeeze for courage. 

Protecting her is your biggest and most important job in life. 

Because no one can take care of the child in you better than you can.

Last but not least: Be tender with her always

This is where the rubber meets the road.

I want you to know that this is what truly counts.

This is for you.

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25 Comments

  1. Great post! The one major unfinished business of 2017 is a thirty + year friendship that just seems to have unraveled. I sent a happy new year text — after a number of messages — and there's no response. I know it's time to let it go, but I've been pondering if/when/why. Thanks for the kick to let it go. Happy and healthy wishes!

  2. Haha this post made me cry like a baby! I have been learning(very slowly) this past year to lay things down that I don't need to worry about, as the things I do have to worry about are more than enough to deal with. I have learnt to so 'No' I have learnt to stick up for myself just a little bit. Wishing you the best year ever. XOXO

  3. What you post is so, so true, Brenda. We need to get off our own cases. Over and over again, because we need to keep reminding ourselves that we are not called to have a perfect past or to be perfect in the present or the future. We are called to be and do the very best we are capable of. We are called to be a loving friend to ourselves, both to the little child we once were and carry with us still, and to the person we are in the here and now. And we are not called to carry the burdens that belong to someone else, for sure. You are so on target with the things you say and I am glad you have shared your tho'ts at the beginning of the New Year when we tend to look back as well as forward at our lives and see areas where we hope to do things differently, or possibly keep some things the same in the coming year. For me, it all boils down to kindness and love toward ourselves first then toward all others we share our earth with.

    You are a wise person and a gifted writer and I want you to know how important your writings are to many of us. You have a knack of saying things that need to be said and heard in a way that is easy to hear and accept. I wish you bushels and bushels of joy and love in the new year and look forward to reading your tho'ts and ideas in the coming year!

    (Hope you are feeling better and better, too.)

  4. I think you've been reading the mail of a lot of your readers. Excellent, Brenda! This is my second time to read your post today. It was inspired. Thank you. I really believe in protecting that little girl that is ourself too. I even keep a picture up from my childhood that seems most essentially my true self.

    Well done!

  5. Brenda, Thank you so much for your insightful thoughts. My tear ducts haven't released any healing tears until this moment for a very long time. As with you, and so many others, my journey has not been an easy one. I have done a lot of work on taking care of my inner child and when you got to the part about OUR VERY OWN CHILD, that is when my healing waterfall started. I have read your blog for years (even before your blog was hijacked) and always gained insight and strength through your life experiences and your approach to continual healing and being whole. Love is the greatest Gift and Gratitude comes in pretty darn close. Let's hope that the universal enery of Love and Good Health blankets all of us that are carrying a heavy load as we enter the New Year. You, Brenda, are loved by MANY. Thank you.

  6. A special post, for certain. Thank you for sharing with us.

    I've looked through my favorites, etc. trying to find the name of your country store and just realized I had saved it on my old computer and can't find it here. Will you give me the name again? I used to have so many wonderful places like that and now none, and I miss visiting them. My favorite was Country House and it's now wholesale only. Boo. I appreciate your help. HNY!

    1. I've just known of one "country type" that you mentioned..it has comforters, sheets and much more. I'll take all you can think of, because I've got nothing! I forget about losing so much when you need a new computer..actually, I forget everything these days! One thing I'm looking for is candles – primitive type (plain)that burn. I always think Google will provide anything I need and I think it's giving me a big thumbs down for my decorating style!!! (= Thanks, Brenda.

  7. Brenda, this post is perfect, especially the part about carrying around what doesn't belong to us. I've been thinking a lot about this topic lately and I think most women tend to do that. It's exhausting…

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