It seems a bit surreal that I now have a sister to chat with on the phone.

Each phone call usually lasts hours, till we’re both exhausted. Trying to catch up on time we didn’t get to share growing up as a normal family.

I knew about her, but I never thought she’d one day find me. 

I looked for her back in my thirties, but the trail seemed cold. I had no way of knowing her adoptive name. And I was told the records could not be released.

Then, that fateful day she took a DNA test seeking genetic information for her medical records changed it all. And that started this whole chain of events. 

Soon thereafter, I got the email from a relative that said: “I’ve found your younger sister. And this is how you can get in touch with her.”

I remember sitting there reading it over and over again. It didn’t seem possible after all this time.

It was a little while before we were in contact. And finally we started calling one another. And now it is just customary that we will chat. 

It just goes to show you that you never know what life will bring to your door.  

Sometimes I’m driving down the street and I see or think of something, and say to myself: “Oh, I’m going to call and tell my sister about that!”

Such ordinary words. Words that women the world over think every day. 

Those words have changed my life. 

August 4th, I recently learned, is Sister’s Day. And this year, I’ll have one to share it with. 

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I'm Brenda, creator of Cozy Little House. I live with my cat, Ivy, who keeps me laughing. I graduated from journalism school with a degree in professional writing and won awards for feature writing. I practice gratitude and enjoy my solitude. The glass is always half-full.

41 Comments

  1. A big thanks to whoever discovered DNA and how to use it to connect relatives and a big rotten tomatoes to the agencies that keep records sealed from people who want their information about themselves or other family members…People in these situations should be given their information…if they do contact family and are rejected..so be it but the right to try should be a birthright..

  2. To Marilyn McLeod @ Pink Paper Cottage:
    I'm Brenda's newly found sister Marietta. In the notifications settings of my profile, (before sending the sample off), I chose to be notified if anyone else's dna matched mine. (They also must have opted to have their match(es) notified.) Likewise, I had the option to notify other matches if their dna matched mine, as long as they opted to be notified. Luckily, a 2nd cousin had used Ancestry.com & had opted to be notified & to have any match be notified about her! As my "user name" I put my birth name, which I learned after receiving a copy of the adoption decree from my adoptive dad in 2002. That was also fortunate, as she was certain it was me by seeing my birth name, Glenda Pruett! I actually read the email she sent to me through the website before seeing the test result email, which was sent first! (You have the option of being notified of your test result by email.) I hope that made sense. Btw, why our last names differ in spelling, we don't know. Brenda has a theory about why that happened, & I think she's right.

  3. I have one sister. She is very special to me, and although we have disagreed on critical issues, we continue to be best friends. She and I share a rich past and lots of childhood memories. It will be so interesting to hear your story and to see how much you and your sister have in common.

  4. WOW Brenda! That is absolutely fabulous!!! I'm so happy for you. I have been blessed to have two sisters, one older and one younger than myself and I love them both dearly and I know they feel the same way about me. You are blessed!!!
    Cindy

  5. I'm so happy for both of you that you have found each other again. And that you're talking for hours on the phone. I hope you can meet in person in the near future!

  6. I am so sad for you as I read your most recent post. Though I am sure they thought they were doing what was best for you. Who knows! So difficult. I lived with my father until I was 5 and then one day they put me on a plane and told me I was going to live with my mother. Had no concept of what a mother was! It was pretty traumatizing to say the least. It took me weeks before I would talk to her!

  8. Brenda, do you both have to have had the DNA testing to reconnect? I always wonder how the DNA tests can find a relative right down to their name and address and email. Does it only happen if you are registered with Ancestry.com and if you BOTH have had the DNA test? Would be curious to find some of my other relatives back east! I"m so so happy that you two have been able to reconnect after all these years of wondering. And being next door neighbors, or even living in the same town.. how wonderful is that? I hope that can happen for you both. I will pray for it. xoxoxo Marilyn from Oregon

  10. And your story continues, so happy that you have found each other and have made a great connection. You have an amazing story Brenda, and your courage is inspiring. I have a brother and we live next door to each other. Some days that is a blessing and some days it is not. (lol he can be quite cranky)

  11. Wow…so happy Brenda that you and your sister found each other.
    What a Great Gift!
    As they say, 'Better late than never' !
    I have a brother four years younger than me, but we never were close.
    I always wished I had a sister to share feelings with.
    How wonderful that you and your sister are enjoying that now.

  12. That would be wonderful if you and your sister could live next door to each other! That way, you could be a sorta caretaker for her since she has MS.

  13. I'm so happy for you!! I had 2 brothers and while I loved them dearly, I always longed for a sister. My one cousin was a boy. My mother told me I cried when he was born and I found out. He was 5 years younger but even at that young age, I wanted more girls in the family! 🙂

  17. So happy for you that you have found your sister and are connecting. I was an only girl with 4 brothers, so I will never experience what it is like to have a sister. I did have a wonderful mother and shared things with her. She is now in heaven, but I have been blessed with two wonderful daughters (now adults) that I enjoy.
    When I was seven years old, I selected a little girl in an orphanage that I asked my parents to adopt so that I could
    have a sister. She was about five, tiny as a fairy with a sprinkling of freckles on her nose and long blonde hair smooth as silk. They did inquire into it and were told that the children could not be adopted. I was crushed beyond belief and mourned for my almost sister.

  18. I am happy for you. I have always wished I had a sister. I only have one brother, and even though I love him dearly, I have still wished for a sister too.

  24. Lately we've actually been discussing possibly becoming next door neighbors somewhere. Marietta, with her MS, needs drier, less humid, air. So probably wouldn't be where I am now.

  25. I'm so very glad you found each other, Brenda!! Are you making plans to meet in person some day in the future? How amazing that would be for you!!

  26. So happy for you Brenda! I have 4 sisters, and one in particular I am very close to. We have long chats on the phone and I miss her a lot. She lives in another state.

  27. What an amazing "Real Life" story…. So happy for you both!! I have two sisters .. me, being the oldest… and I cherish every phone call… every outing … !!! I love that coffee cup !!!! 🙂

  29. I'm so glad you found each other. I'm sure it seems surreal after all the years, but wonderful at the same time. I'm really very happy for you, my friend 🙂

    xo,
    rue

  30. I am so truly happy for you Brenda.
    you both deserved this wonderful journey happening in your lives. bless you!

  31. I think I speak for everyone when I say we are all very happy for you! Everyone needs that special someone in their life they can call, turn to or just know is there for a chat when needed.

  33. I am so happy for you Brenda. Glad that some things in live turn out the way we want them to. Enjoy the sunshine & have a marvelous day!

  34. Well, as the sister referred to, I can say it was surreal to see the notification from the DNA site that a 2nd cousin had been notified about our match, & had messaged me about it! I'd looked for family, trying to establish the Native American percentage ~ I'd been told I was 3/4, unknown tribe ~ but ran into walls for decades. It's great to know I have so much in common with someone I (so far) like so much! Now I can learn to say, and hear, "I love you" with a sister I never knew I had! This is life-altering…

    1. Nice to see you here, Marietta! You may not have found much on the Native American front, but you found me.

  35. Brenda,
    I am so happy for you and I do know just how you feel. Being able to share some of the simplest moments of the day with your sister means everything to a woman.
    Although my sister died before we really got into that sort of relationship I did have it with my Mother. There were so many times that I couldn't wait to get home to call her and tell her about something. Even now, after all of these years of her being gone sometimes I slip and think to myself I want to call Mom and tell her!(so instead I chat with her while I walk or garden)
    Thinking of you,
    Jemma

  37. It's so wonderful that this is a positive development for both of you, that you are enjoying each other's company. As many families have proven, sharing DNA isn't enough to guarantee love. Happily the DNA brought you together.
    One day, I would like to hear what you thought about the situation when you were a child. It is so confusing for me, but I don't think it's that rare that families are torn apart. I would like to better understand the child's point of view.

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