Life is Bittersweet
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All of life is bittersweet. If you describe an experience as bittersweet, you mean it has both happy and sad aspects.
“Those we love don’t go away; they walk beside us every day.”
– Unknown
Life is bittersweet because it rarely gives us only one feeling at a time. Joy often arrives carrying a ripple of happiness, and sorrow can be softened by moments of unexpected beauty.
We celebrate milestones knowing they mark the passage of time. And we cherish people more deeply because we understand how fragile every connection truly is.
The sweetness comes in small, luminous moments, a laugh shared, a memory revisited, a season that feels just right. The bitterness follows close behind, reminding us that nothing lasts forever. And that love, by its very nature, makes us vulnerable to loss.
Yet it is this very blend that gives life its depth. Without sadness, happiness would feel shallow; without longing, gratitude would lose its meaning.
To live is to hold both at once: to smile with tears in your eyes, to be grateful even while grieving. It is to find meaning not in choosing between joy and pain, but in accepting that they walk hand in hand. Life is bittersweet because it is real—and because every fleeting moment matters all the more for it.
Things to See in a Garden:
There is so much to see in a garden: birds and butterflies and ladybugs. And sometimes on a summer evening, there are also lightning bugs.
The other night, I was standing just outside the patio door. I saw one lone lightning bug. And for some reason, I immediately thought of Abi.
Oh, how silly and fun she was. Abi monopolized my attention and seemed to think that I belonged to her. She always gazed at me with unadulterated love in her eyes. And I loved her right back.
“There are some who bring a light so great to the world that even after they are gone, the light remains.”
– Unknown
Mom, I’m Here. See Me???
If she could, Abi would blink in the darkness as if to say, “Mom, I’m here. See me???” She would be upset if she saw tears running down my face. It always spooked her.
I immediately stopped moving and watched the lightning bug flicker in the darkness, overcome with emotion.
For just a moment, I felt her there with me…
“Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality.”
– Emily Dickinson
The Blending Of Emotions Is Bittersweet:
This is what grief is. The blending of sadness and life, moving forward and laughing again, and sometimes seeing something that carries us back into the past.
This process is what I’ve come to think of as bittersweet. Pleasure tinged with sadness or pain.
I think of lemonade. Or sweet pickles. Of my sweet little Abi saying goodbye, but letting me know it’s okay to let her go peacefully onward to the Rainbow Bridge.
“I see you, my sweet baby. Mama sees you.”
Life is So Bittersweet:
But that is how grief is. You are fine for a while, and then you suddenly dissolve into tears. The emotions feel as if your chest will burst, full to overflowing.
I guess it’s appropriate that tears burn as they roll down your face. Don’t you think? It is the squeezing out of sadness, sweet memories mixed with sorrow. And you just never know when some thought will squeeze more tears from you, though you’ve already cried bucketfuls.
Please be patient with me as I go through these necessary stages.
“When we lose someone we love we must learn not to live without them, but to live with the love they left behind.”
–Unknown
A Cucumber & A Pepper:
I picked another ripe cucumber and a pepper while Charlie and I were out for our first morning stroll. And I saw that more gardenias are blooming.
I walked around and could hardly believe what seemed to have happened in my garden space overnight.
Weeds grow in the garden, ants crawl in and out of crevices, and butterflies pause at flowers while transferring pollen.
Did you know that roughly one in every three bites of food we eat comes from plants that rely on animal pollinators like bees, butterflies, birds, and bats? This includes many fruits, vegetables, nuts, coffee, and chocolate.
Did you realize that pollinators are essential for over 75% of the world’s flowering plants and crops?
Bittersweet…life is so bittersweet.
Brushing Charlie:
At night, I brush Charlie. He loves it. They are sweet, unhurried moments between us. I gently brush him, and I feel his body relax beneath the soft bristles.
It is part of our new ritual—the formation of now-familiar rituals between us.
Life never stands still. Not for a moment. We have to grab onto the glimpses of lightning bugs and cherish those moments.
We need to walk around, fully aware of the simple beauty that surrounds us. It might be a new bloom or a male cardinal singing his beautiful song high up in a nearby tree.
Some people don’t take adequate time to enjoy these things. They’re busy and rush through life, chained to the ticking of the clock. And the little things are so essential to our physical and mental health that they go unnoticed.
Please don’t feel that you have to keep writing comments saying how sorry you are for my loss. It is not necessary. I know that all of you are there for me. I feel your caring and concern, and I so appreciate you all.
Just let me write the words spewing forth while her death sinks in. Let me grieve and be there, you wonderful readers who have stuck by me through thick and thin.
With loss first there is shock and immediate pain, and the feeling that life will never be the same. Finally comes acceptance.
Life goes on.
A Line From Romeo & Juliet:
There is a line from William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Juliet is saying goodnight to her beloved Romeo. Their sad parting is also sweet, as it makes them think of the next time they will meet.
And if life does not intervene tragically and take someone that you love from you, then you will say goodnight again.
Which is why the word “goodbye” is so bittersweet. Grief is love with nowhere to go.
nice job, good article : ))
Amazing. thanks. Im following you blog. waiting next post
No one ever gives expressions of sympathy because they have to, but because they want to. People who think sympathy is something that they have to do just don’t bother to do it! Maybe you can consider the expressions of sympathy from your readers to be like fireflies — they are little bursts of warmth that give recognition to your dear little Abi.
I love your blog! I hope to see more posts from you in the future. Really great!!!
My experience is that grief comes and goes in various stages over a long period of time. My son has been gone five years now, and something will come to my mind and bring that bittersweet feeling that you mention. It is both sad that he is gone and I miss him and happy because I know he doesn’t suffer anymore and I was blessed to have him in my life. Time does take the sharp and painful edges off but I don’t think it ever leaves if there was great love.
Everyone needs a special place they can go when losses like this devastate their lives, be it pet or human alike. I would hope your blog always remains a special unadulterated place for you. There really arn’t alot of places where you can just “be” at these times. We live in a world that wants to count the days of our sorrow too often or perhaps tell us, “time to get a grip”. None of these so called remedies can help one iota when you’re falling into the deepest darkest pit or when simply lifting your head off of your pillow is more than you can bear for one more day.
For whoever quoted, “Man’s best friend” really knew what they were speaking of. Pinterest has some of the most touching expressions on pet loss. Expressions that clearly tell you so many before you travelled this road too. Some of them can be so profound they will indeed draw a special tear.
For many, death is death, sort of a end of story, but for others it is not. I do believe our pets can bring special messages to us, not only in life, but in death as well. However, it takes “eyes to see” and “ears to hear” what those messages might be. Questioning at a time like this I personally believe is healthy and may lead you on a path that opens up new dimensions in your own understanding of life, living and dying.
In a small way, you really did walk with your own little miracle for many a day but maybe you just didn’t see it.
If nothing else, I think many of us understand these ones were really something very unique to the heart of God. Otherwise, how on earth could they ever have done all that they did?
I would very much hate to think that Abi’s story ended when she died. She was such a vibrant little dog. It tugs at my heart to visualize her, but it also calms me because I love/loved her so.
I still talk to my boys every day Brenda. Even in itself, the fact that they touched our lives so deeply can help us to understand how great a purpose they truly had.
There is one promise given to each and every one of us which says …Love cannot die. And, it is a promise that holds the hearts of multitudes.
These animals are almost like kindred spirits when they come. A spirit that tells us of innocence, purity and of much gentler ways. They are closer to the heart of God than I think many can realize.
Perhaps the words of Robert Louis Stevenson really do say it all.
You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Bless you …
Well written, well thought out post on bittersweet. I teared up while reading, thinking about my late loved ones, visits I rushed through , etc….what you said .
I figure my experience will echo the experiences you also have.
I think you just expressed perfectly how Love never dies – it revisits us in the little ways you are noticing as long as we are open to it.
I hope there are more “visits” to give me peace.
I love to read your posts. You have so much wisdom and love to share. Thank you.
I don’t censor my feelings when I share here. I just let it flow. Because I feel so close to all of you.
Brenda when family passes from our lives we often fail to bring up memories of them to the person who is grieving. I was guilty of not speaking openly of my younger cousin who died of a cardiac arrest to my aunt. One day she began talking of her daughter and began to cry; she wanted to know why no one spoke of her daughter that she missed so terribly. She said she ached to talk about her. I learned from her that we need to recall and discuss the sweet times,the bittersweet times, and their lives in general. It opened up an entirely new relationship to those who saw what she needed:to talk of her daughter,to hear others remember things about her, and to never forget who she was and what she meant to us. It is the same for you. Remember Abi, talk of her and soon hopefully you will be able to remember her without the tears and be encouraged for the time you had her. Love her…love her memory. Talk or write what is in your heart or on your mind…just continue to write. You calm my day, you write fluidly adding joy as we visit on your patio. God bless you.
I think people believe that bringing up a lost loved one will upset those closest to them. When really, the opposite is true. Not to speak of them is like they never existed.
You are a wonderful writer, open and honest. You are getting your emotions out through your writing, and it might also be helping those of us who have suffered loss, to feel okay to talk about it.
Nature is fleeting. I think of my mom often when I see a butterfly or cardinal. Like my wonderful, warm memories of her, just fleeting now, because as life goes on, the pain is replaced with sweet memories and more loves.
Take care, my friend.
Jane
I am holding onto that thought. When the pain gets easier.
I believe the fire fly was Abi checking on you. And your writing is why I have been visiting you here for years, honest telling of life at your cozy house. Hugs for you and Charlie
Well, thank you for sharing that. I just write whatever enters my mind.
Brenda, your posts and all the feelings you express are very welcome and appreciated by me and many others who read your blog. No need to censor yourself at all. Your candor and honesty are what make your posts so wonderful. It’s been about three months since I helped my beloved Labradoodle, Tavi, “cross the Rainbow Bridge.” Sometimes I can hardly stand not having him and I don’t know when it will become less painful. But, like with you and your loss of Abi, It doesn’t matter how long. All in good time. I accept that and try to just roll with it as the tears and grief come and go.
Pleas keep writing your tho’ts and feelings. They are appreciated very much and helpful to many of us who are going through similar times in our own lives.
It is my hope that we help one another. We all go through similar things in life. It’s nice to be able to share it with each other. The burden seems lighter.
Please don’t stop writing about Abi and how you are dealing with her loss. We can all learn from your insightful words. The pictures of your plants and flowers are beautiful and so very special, I do not tire of looking at them.
I read something the other day, it said that “At some point in your childhood, you and your friends went outside to play together for the last time and nobody knew it” Made me realize how important even the smallest moments can be.
What profound words! There are so many last times, and we don’t know it until later.
Brenda you are in mourning / just feel free to share / we are with you there / mourning with you
I know you are. And I appreciate you.