The Passing
Last night my daughters lost their father.
I have felt like I’ve been perched on the edge of my seat for a week knowing this was coming. Knowing how hard it was going to be for them watching their father die.
Kendra called and told me this morning.
She said this was a wake up call for her to slow down. To not work so much and begin to enjoy life more.
I’ve been telling her this for some years. But she’s got a son in his second year of college and a daughter who is 15. So there’s expenses she shares with her ex-husband.
Their dad liked Elvis, so she said they played spiritual songs sung by Elvis.
They talked to him and told him it was okay for him to go. She said she told him that she’d take care of Kasi, who is 4 years younger. So for him not to worry about that.
Kasi had gone home. Kendra left about 10 p.m. last night.
Kendra said this time she didn’t tell him she’d see him tomorrow as she usually did.
Hospice had told them the loved one sometimes waits till the family has gone home before they die. So that was their reason for leaving at night. To let him know they had gone home and were okay.
Before she left she said she kissed his forehead, and then drove home. He died an hour later and they got the inevitable call no one wants to answer.
I’ve never buried a parent, so I’ve never been in their shoes. I could only imagine their sadness and grief.
Kendra said she wants to go hiking more. This is something she’s recently begun doing. She told me how she’d come to enjoy sitting in her back yard with a cup of coffee and listening to the birds sing.
They never thought they’d be like mom and get into all “the nature stuff.” But it happens I guess as you realize what’s truly important in life.
It’s the simple things. The natural passing of the seasons and how life seems rejuvenated when spring comes at the end of winter. When green sprouts from the ground and leaves bud on the tree branches.
You find yourself crying because he was your children’s father.
I hadn’t seen him in decades. But you cry because you shared children. And because this man was a part of your life for a time.
Nine-year-old Andrew and 20-year-old Riley will be among the pall bearers. As well as Kasi’s husband, Ross and Kendra’s boyfriend, Scott.
The arrangements will be made and then there’s the funeral. Kasi’s husband has taken on much of that and I’m so thankful to him. Because they’re both physically and mentally exhausted.
I’m so proud of them for being there to help their father make this transition. They’ve been his rock for over a year when he needed them the most.
The need arose, and they truly stepped right up and took charge when their dad got sick. Then came the long months of cancer treatment, and the inevitable outcome when nothing more could be done.
Ivy knows something is up. She’s staying close to me.
Brenda, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughters father. How wonderful that they were able to be with hime and to give him comfort.
Life is short and we need to savor all of the the little things.
Take care of yourself Brenda.
I am so sorry for your loss, my son went thru this a few years ago with his father, it’s not easy. They had been estranged, and were slowly starting to heal, it never happened due to his fathers death from a brain tumor. My prayers go out to you and your daughters…..
Wishing you, Kendra and Kasi peace and comfort at this sad time.
My deepest sympathy to your daughters. My father died in an accident when I was nine and I lost my mother almost two years ago to illness. It is never easy. And when you are older and have to make decisions it’s almost worse. Take time to feel the feelings for you and your daughters. I know both are not easy. Love and hugs
My thoughts and prayers are with u, your daughters and their families! Take care!
My sincere condolences to you and your family. Prayers for God’s peace and comfort during a very difficult time.
Condolences to all of you!
Condolences to you, the girls, and their families.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your daughters.
My condolences to you and your girls. Are you going to the wake or service?
I’m so sorry to hear this. Prayers for peace and healing for your family.
Sincere condolences to your family and especially to your girls. The girls will look back on this last year as they grow older and they will feel at peace for taking such good care of him and for being there for him in his time of need. It is very difficult to lose a parent, but this is the circle of life. We are only here for a short time and we should live every day as a gift.
Dearest Brenda, It appears that another chapter in your life story has ended and with your daughters you have started the newest chapter. No doubt that Ivy senses a change and all the prayers with good thoughts coming your way. Take care and gentle hugs to you and your girls.
Sorry for your loss, may you all have peace and comfort to get through this difficult time.
My condolences to your dear girls they’re wonderful humans you did well dear Brenda. Another page has turned. Are you going to the services?
Hospice told us the same thing that many times their loved one will die when family has gone home and it happened like that with my FIL. My husband left and he just got home and the phone call came which shocked us even though we were told.
Your girls have compassion so be proud you raised them well to be by their dads side. My sympathy to all of you.
I bid you and your family peace Brenda
Loss is never easy.
I’m so sorry…my prayers are with you all.
I’m so sorry for Kendra’s, Kasi’s and your loss. I hope that all of you will be surrounded by comfort and love.
I am so sorry to hear your sad news today Brenda. My prayers are with you and your family. Hugs from WI.
I believe that a lot of your followers here over the years are older in general, and we’ve probably all lost to death people that we cared for and loved. Solace is knowing that we have memories of those who have departed, and in our minds and hearts, they are never truly gone forever.
Grief brings so much to the fore. What lovely women your daughters are to have cared for him so gently. Best wishes to each of you as you process the attachment and loss.
Wishing peace for your family at this time. It is never easy and I am so glad it made your daughters think of stopping to smell the roses. Our grandsons and daughter found their 39 dad/husband deceased February 11 from cardiac arrest. Enjoy everyday.
Cindy I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
Dear J, Thank you so much for taking the time to send thoughts and especially prayers. . You will be in mine too.
I sorry for your family’s loss. My daughter recently lost her father who hadn’t been in her life. It was sad for her because there were no more dreams of him coming around, no more wondering what could be, no more waiting for him to change. All hope died with him.
I am literally the “Last Man Standing” in my family. I have buried all my blood family except for one uncle. What I now wish is that I asked more questions of them. I thought I knew my family well, but now that they’re gone, I feel like I don’t know enough to even write their biographies. Brenda, I wish you and your daughters well.
I empathize with your daughters. I lost my father last week. He also waited until we left to pass away.
Please accept my condolences. Even though you hadn’t seen him in years he was the father of your children and a part of your history. I pray that everyone who loved and cared for him will be comforted and consoled.
Brenda, your thoughts this morning are so beautifully pensive. In all of it I see the vast changes in your life and even more recently since you moved. The deeper connection with your daughters, less stress by living in a place more suitable and safer for you and Ivy. Even in your challenges with your mobility, etc.you have come so far.
As you and your family go through this stage I hope you take great comfort from all the people who care so very much for you. You and your dear Ivy.
We are here for you.
My condolences to you, your daughters and all the family.
Sending comforting thoughts to you, your daughters and their families.
I’ve always found it interesting that my cats have always known when to provide extra comfort in emotional times. I only have one now, Sophie is 15 and doesn’t seem to be slowing down. She’s enjoying the mess I’ve made while trying to downsize and thinks she has her own obstacle course in the house.
Prayers for all of you Brenda. Sorry for this loss.
It wasn’t easy, but you alone raised two beautiful, forgiving, kind daughters. This thoughtfully written post says more about your character than any of the other parties.
You did well.
I’m sorry for your loss of the person who gave you the opportunity to be a nurturing mother.
Ivy senses your conflict and she, too, is there for you.
How very sad for all of you…sending healing your way💕
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your daughters.
Very sorry for the loss of your daughters’ father! Thankfully they have their families and you to lean on when the need arises.
I’m sorry for YOUR loss.
A piece of your story is gone now. It brings about the feels.
Happened to me last year. It was a bad relationship, but was my first relationship. A piece of my story was gone. Never to be resolved or such.
Everyone will hold them up, just like you are/will do.
I’m saying, I care about YOUR loss too Brenda.
Much love to you.