Abi’s In Kidney Failure
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The vet just called, and the blood work shows that Abi’s in kidney failure. They want to give her more fluids, and I’m to pick her up about the same time, late this afternoon.
Acute renal failure can occur in a very short time frame. And that’s how it has been this past week. One minute, she seemed fine, and the next, she appeared lethargic and refused to eat.
I recall sitting on the steps at the vet’s office early Saturday morning and waiting for him to get out of his truck when he arrived. Even though we had no appointment, I knew he had to look at Abi. I knew there was something wrong that was beyond my ability to care for her.
It seemed to take so long for him to get close enough for him to hear me as I stood there by the door. I told him how worried I was about Abi.
He told me to bring her inside, and he’d take a look at her. And things went downhill from there.
Thinking Back On Abi’s Escapades:
I think of Abi’s escapades—memories stored in my head. Abi, furiously scratching at a blanket because she’d get so excited. Her little paws were moving so fast that you could barely see them.
Abi, making that weird noise when she lies on her side and is trying to convey her frenzied feelings to me.
The way her eyes always widen when she sees me walking toward the door with my purse. How she tries to keep me from going out the door to my car. Then, when she sees she can’t stop me, she tries furiously to sneak past my legs to go with me, barking furiously.
Both Abi and Charlie have separation anxiety, and I hate to leave them for any period of time. But there are places I have to go where I can’t take them, so they get left behind until I can get home.
Abi, a spunky little dog, is so full of life. She’s undoubtedly a drama queen and has weird, quirky ways. There has never been anything ordinary about Abigail Rose.
And now she’s listless. Sick, weary, and scared because she has to go to the vet every morning. And I have to leave here there till late afternoon.
She knows something is wrong. I can see it in her eyes. But I can also see how tired she is from trying to keep her body going when it wants to quit.
There’s Nothing More To Do:
There’s nothing else to be done. She won’t drink or eat. There has been no improvement after several days of fluids and treatment. No matter how strongly I’ve wished it, made bargains, and pleaded with the vet, this process remains unchanged.
How can I lose this feisty, sweet girl?
It seems impossible because she’s always been so full of life. But in the past few days, I’ve watched her fade away. Her eyes have an empty look.
I’m heartbroken. However long she has left, I want her home with me. I want to spend every minute with her. To soak up her presence.
I’m selfish to want to keep her when I know her body can’t fight anymore. I’ve never seen Abi not fight. Fight to go with me, fight to get out the door, fight me every step of the way.
Abi has always seemed larger than life. She’s always been such a spirited little dog.
I brought Abi and Charlie with me from Texas, and I remember stopping for gas once during the long drive.
As I pumped gas, both dogs stood at the window watching, fear in their eyes. They had no idea where we were going, or if we’d ever return to the only home they’d ever known. We were moving to a new home in a different state. Many changes were about to take place.
Settling In Tulsa:
Then we settled in Tulsa, and life went on. We no longer had to worry about “him” anymore. Those days were over. And now the three of us had our own little family.
Now one of us will no longer be here. And Charlie and I will be left to grieve this spunky, sweet little dog.
I’m bringing her home to die. I’d go pick her up right now, but he said she needs the fluids. I have been waiting and hoping. Hoping and waiting. Thinking maybe things would turn around and she would get better.
In these crucial next hours, I will talk to her, pet her, and give her all of myself. I’ll try to prepare her for something I have no idea how to prepare her for.
My own feelings of anxiety and fear will have to be put aside. And I’ll just be with her. Lie next to her; talk to her.
Tomorrow, she will leave this earth, and hopefully, there is a Rainbow Bridge for her to cross over to.
I will love her to the end and beyond, and be right beside her when she takes her final breath.
I’m so very sorry Brenda. It is so hard to lose something you love so much and that loves you back so unconditionally. I’m thinking of you.
Tania
Brenda,
My heart is breaking for you and Charlie. No there’s no words to help but just know that you and Charlie are in many of our thoughts and prayers
Oh Brenda, I am so sorry to hear about Abi’s passing. I know its a hurt no one understands unless they have owned a pet. Take your time and grieve. Give Charlie a lot of hugs because he will hurt too. Sending hugs to you both. You have many friends hurting along beside you because they know how it feels.
Brenda, I am so sorry to hear of Abi’s passing. She was such a delightful little character. I have no words to make it easier, but know that Abi had a wonderful life with you. Hugs to you.
Hello Brenda! i am so sorry! I am in tears. Your love for your sweet babies is so special. I have never written you before, but I read your blog every day and especially love your blogs about your sweet fur babies. I love a quote I once heard: “Your soul has not been awakened until you have loved a dog”. It is so true. Take comfort that your baby girl had no better person to love her than you.
All my love, prayers and thoughts.
Jamie
I am so sorry about little Abi. Prayers for you and Charlie.
Brenda, there are no words to possibly convey how sorry I am for your’s and Charlie’s loss. Like so many of your readers, I, too, have been where you are over the years. Most of my babies only live in my heart now, yet they fill my soul every day with joy and love and laughter. These days I share my home with a funny, feisty cat named Spencer. Your love for Abi was so evident and so enormous. That kind of love can break your heart, but it cannot break you. Love holds you up. Love gives you wings. Love is forever. I wish you great strength as you face the challenging days ahead. Warm hugs to you and Charlie…
I’m so sorry. Cherish your memories of sweet little Abi and hold Charlie close.
Ahhh, Brenda,so very sorry for your loss,hold onto your memories of happy times with her and take comfort in knowing you did your very best…I can imagine the hole in your heart and home right now.
I saw somewhere a post that said what if when we get to heaven all the dogs we’ve ever loved are waiting to great us with wagging tails and smiling faces…
God bless you with strength and comfort today and always.
Oh Brenda, I am so very sorry. I have been following your posts, hoping for a different outcome. Hugs my friend…
I’m so sorry to hear about Abi. Know that she is blessed to have you for her “Mom”. Sending you both prayers and hugs.
i awoke many times in the night and Abi and you and little Charlie came immediately to my mind.
the time we have with them in our life is never long enough. I’ve read every comment here and cried. just know that you are loved and that we who have gone through this pain are with you in spirit. right there holding you three in our hearts. xo xo xo
Oh Brenda, I’m so very sorry to hear this news. Was hoping and praying it was just a bug. My heart aches for you, because I know how much your puppies mean to you. Just know that all of us are thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.
Sorry to hear that your dear friend is at the end of her life.
Brenda…I am very sad to read this. I feel like I know Abi from your cute stories about her. She will be so missed. I think having her with you in her last days is the right thing to do.
I am so sorry. I pray for comfort and peace for you.
Love,
Holly
My heart breaks for you….such terrible news. I am so very sorry to hear this and wish you and Abi strength through the tears.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Abi.
So sorry to hear this Brenda – its a painful journey. Sending you prayers, hugs, and healing thoughts.
We are will make that journey…….just have every second you can with her.
Bless You and little your little one…..
The three of you are like family to me as I have been faithfully reading your blog for years. Tears are here as I write this. Our time with our pets is always too short. I know Abi feels the love you have for her and you will do what is best. My love to you, Abi, and Charlie. So very sorry…❤️??
Prayers being said for you and the pups. This is exactly what I went through with Bernie, my 13 year old brindle collie. Just love on her and Charlie. It will be so hard on him too.
So sorry to hear this Brenda. Abi will be happy to be home with you. Sending hugs
I am so very sorry to hear this for you. Prayers for you and little Abi; it is never easy saying goodbye to our precious fur-babies. Very sorry you are going through this. Love to you.
Dawn P.
I am so sorry. I went through this and the road is never easy. Sending you prayers and peace.
I’m so very sorry. I am praying for Abi, you and Charlie. I know how very painful this is for you. I lost my own beloved little dog a year ago and it is heartbreaking. I believe we will be with them again in the next life.
I am just so, so sorry. For you, Abi, and Charlie. This is just so heart-breaking to hear. It’s so hard to go through something like this (unfortunately I know from experience). I will be praying for you and your little family. I know there is nothing else I can say because nothing will help at a time like this.
I’m so very sorry that you have to go through it.
{{{{HUGS}}}}
love and prayers to you, Abi, and Charlie
Oh Brenda, there are just no words to express how heartbroken I am for you. I have been and I am still praying for little Abi, you and Charlie for comfort and peace. My heart cries with you… I am so glad that she will come home to be with you and Charlie and be held and feel yours and Charlies Love….
God Bless …
Debbi
Brenda, I have been following your blog and particularly lately about Abi’s health situation. When I read this I just stopped for a moment because of teary eyes. There are no words of comfort to soften the blow of giving up your sweet girl. As your friends I hope the volume of written words coming your way is a care package of love. Hold your furbabies close and share the love in your heart as you have done each day. I am sorry you are going through this sadness. Prayers are going up for the strength when it is needed.
I am so sorry to hear this. Kidney failure is not fun. My Murphy had that. Prayers said. How is Charlie taking this?
Prayers for Abi and you for comfort and strength. You certainly have loved your two pupsters giving them the very best care. Peace be with you each day. I read your blog most every day and enjoy every post. God bless you and your pups each day.