Every Dog Must Have His Day
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Have you heard the words “every dog must have his day?”
Last night, I am pretty sure I felt Charlie’s back against my back. I felt the warmth of him right up beside me. And I was so surprised, because he’s never done that before.
Now that might not sound like a big deal, but it is. It is another remarkable change in my Charlie boy since we lost Abi.
“Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.”– Orhan Pamuk
Every day, he seems more willing to come closer to me. All those years, I guess he feared Abi. She was so jealous of anyone being near me. Abi was my chief defender.
I thought it was just Charlie’s way, that it was his personality. I could pick him up and place him next to me, and he would thrash about like I was hurting him. Then he would work himself away and jump to the floor.
Was Charlie Afraid To Put Himself Before Abi?
Maybe he was simply afraid, as she was the alpha dog.
I remember a few months ago, I was thinking about Abi and Charlie’s advancing age and looking down the line. And I wondered which of them would go first, as painful as the very idea was.
Though it felt like an aberration, I recall thinking: Abi has been the alpha dog all these years. Seems like, in fairness, though nothing about death is fair, Charlie should have his turn. Every dog must have its day.
Does that even make any sense?
I recall feeling instant guilt for even thinking such a thing. No one wants to think about their pet dying. But it is inevitable, so it’s natural to think about it from time to time. And to dread and fear it eventually happening.
Nothing is more precious to me than my pet babies.
Charlie is thriving now. His personality has opened up. He seems freer and less afraid.
Charlie’s New Routine:
He is no longer standing by to let Abi eat first, as he has for years when I fed them. (I would pick her up to allow him to eat, but he still seemed shy about eating. He would eat a bit and then stand aside for her.)
Of course, if he were really hungry, he would be bolder and eat alongside her. But if she got aggressive, he would walk away. I would chastise Abi for being mean, but that behavior never changed in all these years.
Now he indulges himself and eats like a little pig. The other day, he ate so much he threw up five times. And the food was hardly even chewed due to his lack of teeth!
Charlie is evolving every day. He is more playful. Transforming from a caterpillar into a butterfly.
Nothing could ever make up for losing my sweet Abi. I would give anything to have her back.
“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”
– Josh Billings
I’m glad I didn’t give in to the temptation I had a few weeks ago of adopting a cat. Charlie needs time first to build his confidence, and I will gladly give him that.
You know, they say don’t make any critical decisions when you’re in the early stages of grief. Now I see why. Your judgment is clouded by such overwhelming sorrow.
“Every dog must have his day.” – Jonathan Swift (author, Gulliver’s Travels)
Awww, sweet little Charlie boy! I can relate to that – Monkey is definitely the alpha dog in our pack. Molly stands back and waits for her ‘turn’ to be fed or get a treat….I always feed my old girl, Lily first, then Monkey, and then Molly gets her bowl. I feed them in three separate spots so there’s no bickering. Dinner time is always a challenge! Lily doesn’t have to be forced to eat, she’s a piglet. Monkey hates to eat, I have to force her….and little Molly has turned into a little fussbudget! She’s just as spoiled as the other two now, and I’m so glad to be able to do that for her after her rough start to life!
This was such a sweet read. I know that you are grieving for Abi but yet to see a different relationship open up with Charlie is probably a blessing that you did not expect 🙂
Brenda, please keep writing about your life.
You are part of my days and I care about your days!
A sweet, amazing story about Charlie.
Its such a pleasure for me to read about Charlie coming out of his shell and all that entails! I love that feeling of my pup close to my back….never gets old. Our Gracie seems to sleep part of the time against my back and part of the time against my husband’s back. I guess she doesn’t want to choose a favorite LOL
Have a great day
Love your posts about Charlie and Abi … everyone works through their grief in a different way and I am glad to see you and Charlie becoming closer. Loss gives you a different perspective on those around you because one realizes how temporary this life really is and how we should enjoy THIS day. Take care.
Brenda- I never knew I was a dog person until I met my husband and we had a child. She like most, wanted a puppy. I fought it for several years and then finally gave in to the pleading.firat was Molly Belle. After 8 months, Finnegan found a home with us. I was only blessed with one child but often think that our home is complete because of our Boston Terrier, Molly Belle and Finnegan. I understand how important our fur family is to us as yours is too you. Sending love and peace.
As you can tell from all these comments, we love your writing anything about your life. It’s never boring! The book reviews are another story!
Aww, so sweet! I’m glad Charlie is blossoming like he is :o)
Tania
Blossoming like a flower in my patio garden.
I’m so glad to hear that Charlie is thriving and enjoying his time to take center stage. His pictures make me think of a little Stief teddy bear. He is an adorable boy. Enjoy his snuggles and transformation into a beautiful butterfly… he is so sweet ❤️
Regardless that he is almost twelve years old, I look at him and see a puppy.
Hello Brenda, What a lovely post about precious Charlie. I thought of the song, “Wind beneath my Wings.” Charlie stayed in the shadows and let little Abi Rose shine. Now he is on the stage and performing with all the gusto he has! It is his time to break out and show his true
loving personality; he can help you move forward knowing he is “there” for you. Bless his little sweet face, heart, and life.
He never seemed to mind being in the shadows, that I could tell. I always chastised Abi for picking on him or bossing him or refusing to share food. Never seemed to make a difference. He sure is eating now! I may have to watch his weight.
What a wonderful blog post. Put such a lump in my throat. This is a special time for you and Charlie, savour every moment of it.
Female dogs often are alpha. My Boxer always stood aside for female dogs and he never even lived with one. It could be the tiniest little teacup Chihauhau even but if it was female it was always a no touch zone to him. Another male however, he’d take no guff whatsoever, flatten him right to ground if need be. We use to comment on what a true gentleman he was, he was so fine. But, it appears to my eyes another fine gentleman has appeared on the scene …. and his name is Charlie!
Oh sweet Charlie, I look into his eyes and see so much of my little Tobi in him who was also part Yorkie and then I just cry all over again.
Remember the song, “If we could talk to the animals just imagine it”. When I was a little girl I use to wonder if it was possible and what a glorious gift that would be if they really could talk.
So many lessons my boys taught me but one of them was …we do talk mom … and we have soooooooooo much to say!
They are just divine … and you are never boring.
They talk to us in their own subtle ways. We just have to listen. I’m learning how to do that with this shy little boy. When I was a child, the pets were my playmates.
So glad to hear about Charlie finding himself and you. Enjoy every day of this new pecking order.
I guess it truly is a pecking order. Charlie is at the front of the line now.
Brenda, this post made me cry with happiness for you both. Charlie is coming into his own and so enjoying having you all to himself. It makes me so happy for you both. I look forward to hearing more stories of this sweet little boy as he continues to be brave and bold each day. You are a wonderful mom!
Carol and Molly
And I am so anxious to share it with you, Carol and Molly!
I love to read how you are both doing, how Charlie is showing more of his personality is lovely. ? hugs
It’s the little things that matter so much. It truly is lovely.