What The Acupuncture Vet Said
This post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase through links on my site, I may earn a commission at no cost to you. For more information, please see my disclosure policy.
I keep thinking about what the acupuncture vet said to me.
The patio looks sad. The zinnias are dead, as are many other plants. But the petunias and eucalyptus are still showing a bit of life. And of course the herbs. Herbs are pretty hardy. The sunshine coming in is bright, but it’s cold outside.
Hyacinth Bean Vine:
The hyacinth bean vine seeds I planted didn’t even form bean pods. I was hoping I’d get some beans so I’d have them to save and plant next spring. But an early winter surprised us all.
I guess I need to go out and do a bit of maintenance, cut off the dead parts of the withering plants. But I just don’t have it in me right now.
I’m doing a load of laundry. Listening to the machine go through its cycles. Thinking, but trying not to think.
Ivy On Her Best Behavior:
Ivy has been on her best behavior this weekend. She quietly plays with her toys and occasionally comes to lie on the table next to my chair, so I will pet her.
Friday, Charlie wasn’t supposed to go to an acupuncture appointment, but I called the vet, and she said to bring him in and leave him for a bit.
They said that they’d call me when they had him feeling better, and I could come to pick him up. I took that opportunity to run some errands, as I don’t like to leave Charlie any more than I have to.
Anticipatory Grief:
When I went back to pick him up, I told her that I was having a hard time doing his land therapy at home because my back was giving me problems.
It’s hard for me to get back up once I get down on the floor.
She told me the team had met and decided I should just enjoy Charlie now. And for me not to worry too much about all the other therapy at home.
She said, “This is bonus time.”
I asked her what that meant. It means I’ll be coping with anticipatory grief.
Bonus Time with Charlie:
She said she never thought Charlie would make it this long and that he had been doing well with the acupuncture. And that I should spend this time just loving and enjoying being with him.
Those words pierced my heart. I try not to get upset in front of Charlie, so I put on a brave face. But inside, I was falling apart.
It is inevitable, I know.
I hear him cough and choke, and there’s not much I can do beyond giving him the hydrocodone syrup. And be there with him. Give him his meds, feed him, and tend to him. I hate that he hurts, and I can’t do anything more for him.
I’ll love him and savor the time we have left. However long that may be.
Oh, Brenda, I have tears for you, too as I’m reading your post and all the comments. I am so, so sad for you.
He’s just the sweetest and I’m so sorry your appointment was not a happy one. No one really knows what will happen or when, so I say one day at a time, love, laugher, tons of squeezes and together time. There’s no better medication those things. Hugs my friend…
What a step forward for you! My suggestion is to cry and be authentic. Do not block your emotions. When you stop sadness you stop joy. Your animals know how you feel. Be especially nice to yourself.
Like all of your friends here on your blog, my heart is saddened to hear that Charlie’s time with you may be shorter than you would like. But remember that Charlie is a blessed little dog to have a Mom who loves him so well and takes such good care of him. His life has been good with you so spend this time remembering all the good days and funny things he has done and love him up real good. Both of you will be blessed and find peace. Hugs to the three of you.
Oh, Brenda, I’m so sorry to hear your sad news. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, from the happy to the really sad stories. All 3 of you are in my thoughts.
So very sorry to hear you are going through this sad time again. Many of us know that pain too well. Charlie is a very lucky pup to have you taking care of him. You certainly have gone above and beyond to help him. Take good care
Gosh – life is a treasure. We just went through this with my elderly aunt whom lives a long way from us (think the top of Australia and we are at the bottom with a 3.5 hour plane trip in between). Her only daughter died four years ago from Cancer and she had 14 dogs at the time. My aunt kept one of them, not that you have a favourite child but this was my cousin’s favourite. Little snooky had to be laid to rest last month and poor Aunty is very lonely. She is 82 yrs old so not easily able to get around. She did treasure those times together though and takes comfort from that.
I am so sorry, Brenda What a sweet boy he is and he knows you love him and want what’s best for him As hard as those words were to hear, it’s wonderful that your vet was honest with you and didn’t cause you unnecessary expense, stress and undue hardship for Charlie by continuing the ineffective therapy. I’m glad you get a little more quality time with him, uninterrupted by therapy visits. Hugs to you and your sweet boy.
He’ll still be going for acupuncture. If he doesn’t he gets really bad.
This is the saddest news. I wonder if Ivy stayed quiet and close today because she knows something’s gone awry.
So sorry to hear this. You and Charlie have such a close bond. Treasure the time you have together.♡
Oh, Brenda, I am so sorry to read about Charlie. You are such a wonderful gift to Charlie, and vice versa. I’ll be thinking about all 3 of you.
Brenda, I don’t always comment but have followed you for years and you’re the first blog I read each day and all the comments.you, Abbie, Charlie and now Ivy are always in my prayers. I to am so heartbroken for you and have tears running down my face as I type this. All the heartfelt comments from these wonderful Ladies expresses perfectly my own thoughts and feelings… again I am so very, very sorry…. God Bless you, your precious little Charlie and Ivy..
Debbi Saunders
So very, very sorry to hear this about Charlie. God bless you with strength and love.
I’m so sorry, Brenda. My mom’s little pup (a Pomeranian) had the same choking and coughing problems as Charlie. She passed away this past spring and my mom has been so heartbroken. I know how much your heart is breaking…
Don’t worry about your plants or anything else that can wait. Just take good care of yourself and Charlie.
Brenda, I know that anticipating having to let Charlie go is just excruciatingly painful. Know that I am thinking about you in this time of sadness. I hope you will be able to enjoy to some extent the time you have left with Charlie and experience the gratitude I know you have for getting to be his Mama.
I will be thinking of you going through this time and wish you peace in your heart as you spend time with sweet Charlie.
You, Charlie, and Ivy will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry. But what an absolutely wonderful life you and Charlie have shared.
My loving thoughts and sympathy for what you are going through now. My 4 dogs all lived happy, long lives like your boy has. Calm quiet days ahead for all of you….